Hi My wife and have been together 20 years. I began experi

My wife and have been together 20 years. I began experiencing extreme depression and blamed her for not helping me. I blamed the lack of sex drive, affection, and intimacy she displayed. My broken soul searching for anything found temp healing in the arms of another woman and immediately upon committing adulatory I was destroyed with regret and remorse. I told my wife immediately what I had done. She moved out over a month ago. There is no communication as she needs space. But I am in love with my wife and this act had nothing to do with my feelings for my wife. I destroyed my entire world and the fear of not knowing what she wants to do is ripping my apart.
Every night is nightmares of her leaving or me searching the world for her. I have made the worst mistake and I hate myself for it.
I just want my wife back.
I have seen the outside world and I don't want it. Just her.
I pray go God to heal her pain and come back to me in any form.

I am hanging on by a thread.

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Leahzan's picture
Nov 18

The only thing that you can control is your own actions to heal whatever inside you made you cheat. Work on yourself and your wife may find her way back to you. Obviously, the lack of affection and intimacy was a sign of something missing in your marriage. I can speak from experience as having been in your wife's shoes. I know why my husband (now ex) strayed. I don't condone it, but I understand it. Its possible this was building up and the cheating was the final straw. Ideally she'll be open to conversation and even counseling. I know I had to face a lot of my own feelings after learning of my husband's infidelity. I had to face the environment I had created where he considered cheating an option. I tried to be honest with both myself and him.

Nov 23

Sometimes infidelity is too hard to recover from.I understand you made a terrible decision to cheat and now regret it. But imagine how your wife feels? She trusted you and you broke that trust. Not trying to be hard on you , just stating the facts.

Nov 24

Bryan, I would also recommend getting into therapy of some sort. Work on yourself. Try to figure out what made you look for attention from someone other than your wife. Unfortunately, what's done is done and its ultimately your wife's decision if she can stay committed to you. You can't control it but you can control your own actions. Instead of beating yourself up, reach out for help. Best of luck to you!


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