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Hi all I need to vent its 2019 now and I'm trying to change

rikk's picture
[5265]

Hi all I need to vent its 2019 now and I'm trying to change and be more direct. well I know my comments have been all over the map. well this is the latest my X and I talk but she always wants my conformation as In I want her Sexually. She always make little hints but I don't fall for it. Now we are divorce but I am bitter some because she was the one who decided to leave, yes her there was no cheating on my part, or her part either. we lost trust and communication. I'm speaking from a male's perspective. The problem now is we let the court system involve now and child services also. the latest is she asking for me to pay back pay in child support. Remember She choose to leave. now I have followed her and my kids, we tried to live as roommates, meaning I had to sleep on the couch during that time we had never had Intimacy during that time. now I don't mind paying child support to help BUT if I don't work the support crumbles, I cant afford things I used to take for granted now. I have to make some tough decision about my kids me and my X. The first is do I stay here in California, second do I stop all this (bulling) and go to court and file for a modification. That will put us back in the system all over again. Trust in God right and each other when it comes too are kids. I did by verbally giving her full custody of are kids. now months later I see my kids daily, THIS IS MY QUESTION she wants $$$$ she claims for are kids, IF I continue to live under poverty wages I may loose it. There has to be another way to handle this. Also as a dad you always want to help your kids financially. In my case I wont be able if my kids ask for 20 bucks I wont have it. How does that make me feel. or event to go to MacDonalds I wont be able. This is my pain.

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[147520]
Jan 12

@rikk, your children love you very much. It's good whatever your past issues with your ex, you two can talk about finances and what is best for the children. My ex was a raging lunatic so we couldn't talk for years. Now that the kids are grown we never talk at all, ever. And I love it that way. But to be fair, for the most part, he was a good father.

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[147520]
Jan 12

I'm glad you'll be able to have retirement and hopefully also an inheritance, though I'm sure your kids would rather have their father than any money. Cherish those wonderful children. They grow up sooooo quickly. I sure miss those days.

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[2490]
Jan 12

@rikk - I'm so sorry you have all of this in front of you and the financial and emotional demands that come with it. There are two components to your struggles: your location and financial demands. Regarding location, I think it's always best for the kids when both parents stay close geographically. This way you can see them regularly, attend school functions and actively participate in their lives. As far as financially, you MUST have any modification agreements in writing and through the courts. Thus, if you have a current order of support and even IF she says, "don't worry - we can start fresh" - that will not hold water in the court and they will continue to identify whatever support payments you owe based upon whatever records they have in their system. If you ever give her cash directly (which I don't recommend) get a receipt. Better yet - pay it to her through the courts. I don't know the ages of your children, but it's best to get the courts to understand your current financial situation and modify your support as applicable in accordance to the laws. This is so tough. I hate it for you and the kids.

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