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Hey all. So yesterday I went to church. It was the first tim

Hey all. So yesterday I went to church. It was the first time I played keys in almost a year. I have been playing bass but keys is where I'm at home mostly. I couldn't help but feel this sensation of emptiness in me. This feeling of, what am I doing here? What's my purpose? Obviously, I know I have to grind it out because it's the right thing to do, but you know, I was wondering if anyone else has felt that?

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c0nfused1985's picture
Dec 4

@Scat yeah, you're right. I'm not perfect by any stretch nor have I pretended to be. But I do know my family always came first. She was loved by both me and the kids. Obviously we weren't enough.

I have she truly means it when she says she's happy out there, and I don't say that because I want her back, I say that because I can only assume the torment her soul will be when she realized she left the kids lives the way she did.

Dec 4

You were and are enough and your precious children are too, regardless of her stumblings and missteps. She chose this road and cannot blame anyone but herself. I'm impressed you haven't given up, and still have faith.

Dec 5

There's a guy in my church worship band who went through a bad divorce a few years ago...beautiful wife and kids...he made some bad choices...they had an ugly divorce. He was repentful but she would not take him back. He was a broken man...his choices had caught up to him. He took some time off to reflect on everything that had transpired. A few years later he got back up on stage and shared his story of how God took his ugliness and forgave him and made him whole again, even though his marriage was not restored. He ended his story with the song, "Yes I Will" by Vertical Worship. Not a dry eye in there. I know you were the betrayed spouse, but we are all broken. Continue seeking Him and He will restore your joy. Even though your life has changed, His love remains the same...He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Trust the process even when you don't....if that makes sense. I was married to a serial cheater for 15 years and I can't even begin to tell you the damage done...but...God is good and He has carried me through my own storm and He will do the same for you. Play for Him :)

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