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Hello all. New here. My wife left me one day in September wh

Hello all. New here. My wife left me one day in September while I was at work. When I found out, I reacted as I think anyone here would and said some things that were not so nice. Wife stated she was just going to be gone for one night but due to the way I reacted, she never came back. In fact, she stopped speaking to me then filed for divorce 2 weeks after she left. We have spoke once since the day she left. She told me she filed for divorce as a reaction to my not so nice words that day. She stated she was no longer in love with me and that there was no future for us. Although she agreed we needed to communicate regarding property settlement, etc. she still has my telephone number blocked so I cannot contact her. She hasn’t tried to either. Things are at a stand still in the legal proceedings due to her. She wanted to rush this so bad but yet now she’s not. I believe she is seeing someone else as I have found out some things since she left. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. A part of me wants to try to arrange some type of meeting between us as I have not spoken my peace or gotten any type of closure. Plus, I want the rest of her stuff out of the house as it continues to cause me grief. Should I attempt such a meeting? Should I even want to talk to her? I’m confused. I go from being okay to crying on the floor like a child. Any suggestions or thoughts would help. Thanks.

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[40]
Dec 2

@Morningview wow! I would definitely say we do share a lot of the same experiences. Thank you for sharing with me. Considering that I feel like I’m walking around in a constant head fog, it is nice to get someone’s opinion who has been there and done that and can now offer me advise with a clear mind. So you thought it was best to not speak during the divorce proceedings? Let me ask you this, did she ever attempt to contact you? And did you ever feel like you had things you wanted to say but never got the opportunity to do so? I am scared I have all these things to say that I’m going to ultimately regret not doing so. I can 100% relate to the losing yourself aspect of this. That’s where I feel like I am. I feel stuck. She got to dump everything on me, has no responsibilities now, and is living her life to the fullest. In our only time we spoke, she made sure to tell me how well she was finally doing which only sucker punched me more. I have been attempting to clean my house for the past few months and I just can’t bring myself to do it. I hardly ever leave my house anymore for fear of seeing her or someone else. I literally feel like she sucked my soul out when she left.

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Iristoiris's picture
[10030]
Dec 2

@sbuss1023 I would say whatever you need to say to put it on the table, knowing she will not absorb it rationally. I messaged my stbx at random times for months and MAYBE at the beginning he tried to dance around (like when I first found out) and make excuses and blame me but once time passed, it just fueled his fire of thinking I was the "bad guy" for even trying. He legitimately tried to tell me to "cease and desist" emailing him. Well, no one is holding a gun to your head to open the messages. Lol. And did he once in typing such cold words ever consider how he ripped my world apart? OUR world apart? Nope. They don't They literally can't. Like Morningview said, they aren't who you think you are talking to - at least not anymore. They need to create a villain in you so that the blame stays off of them. They KNOW they are wrong, but they lie in wait for any accusation they can make against you to "prove their point." Any time you get frustrated, she will call you "crazy." It's no actual use in terms of changing her mind. But, for your sake, lay it all out in a letter/email. You decide if you want to send it. But it helps to type/write it out. And at least you can then say you did everything you could.

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[286015]
Dec 2

How long ago did she say she was filing? It takes at least probably ten days sometimes to be mailed or served the paperwork once the person files. Then you'd have 30 days to respond. If she never serves you and you figure out she never filed, you can do it yourself, just dump her cheating azz and get your own closure because it seems like she's playing games and not doing it. So you can ask for what you want, the house sold, property split, you want her to take the dogs or keep them, or want her to move her stuff out, put it in the papers. If she doesn't get her stuff by a certain date either drop it off at her place or leave it at the curb. She sounds like a total flake, an utter loser.

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