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Hello all checking in no real change in my situation still

Lonley28's picture
[1040]

Hello all checking in no real change in my situation still only communicating about house stuff and bills It's been 3 months and 1 week since we this began and I still have no idea where this will end up . She claims her healing is going well but says that she is not ready yet to talk about personal matters (us) . I don't want to give up as I know she is dealing with a lot and we have been together for 28 years but it's hard to keep the faith without encouragement of any sort .
I have been trying to focus upon the parts of my life not in turmoil and I have been trying to stay busy instead of just bumming out ans staring at the walls . I have been going to the gym and eating again and I am starting to put back on some much needed weight . I also picked back up my Acoustic Bass ( that sat in its case for 8 years ) and have started playing again . I have been hanging out with friends a lot more and working a lot but none of it seems to help with how badly I miss my wife .
I feel like my life is the 3 doors down song "here without you " and I wish I could know what she is feeling / thinking . I don't wish to give up on us but it's so difficult and I feel like I am stuck between hope and despair . Anyone out there have any relationships that have reconciled after an extended separation ? I understand that 3 months is just a blip of time compared to our 28 years together , I just wish I could convince my brain of that as it feels like forever .

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Ellen4550's picture
[17715]
Aug 26

@mmadwaite yes...miles and miles of the same..my STBX is a farmer so I am reminded daily

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Lonley28's picture
[1040]
Aug 26

Heya all back sorry for not being around have been busy some good stuff some bad . I am going to the Lawyer tomorrow , I have all my papers together with my checkbook . I hate everything about this but I have no choice since she lawyered up and never responded to any of my attempts at offers of mediation and not fighting over furniture etc . She seems completely irrational and would rather give money to the lawyers then keep it for us . I am very nervous about this consult because I will retain someone after this one as I have sen 5 now so I know its going to be the point of no return and its killing me .

The other day I told you I was talking on a dating site , I ended up meeting a great woman who has been thru a nasty divorce that ended a marriage of 23 years also . I am not seeking relations with her I am not ready yet for that but she is being a good friend and I'm glad I met her . We have been talking a lot on the phone over the last couple days mostly about our Her X and my STBX and its amazing how alike those 2 are . Talking with her helped me feel a lot better about me .

This is where it gets weird ... so on Friday I was talking to my new friend and after we were done talking around 11pm ... my STBX called her with her caller id blocker on at 1:41 am . She filed divorce papers on me and she cares who I talk to now ???

My new friends number is listed so I am sure that she saw that it was a woman who lives about 45 mins from where I am staying I was talking to for a couple hours but why they hell would she care .

Legally because we have been separated for over 3 months and she has filed , I can legally date others but the funny part is we are just talking , I really don't see it going anywhere more of another support group person just one I am talking to on the phone .

ok its late and to get to bed hopefully ill sleep will have lawyer on the brain all nigh I think . Ill check in and update more after work tomorrow . wish me luck with the Lawyer .

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Lonley28's picture
[1040]
Aug 26

@Michael72 South shore of Massachusetts here only been to Jersey once went to six flags . My house is
$5500 for property taxes since we throwing round taxes .

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