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Have anyone moved away since your separation/divorce? I am

Have any of you with children moved away since your separation/divorce? I am currently living about 30 min from my stbx and my daughter. But I don't think I can stay here if I want to rebuild my life. I am considering moving to a more vibrant town about 30 min from here. That would put me about an hour from my daughter. I only get her 1 day on the weekends (don't ask) so it will be a pain for that day...but...I gotta work on me, too, right? Thoughts?

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Feb 19

@alohabbq Thank you. My daughter is my only child (although she has two step-brothers). I want to be there for her but my stbx has been extremely spiteful and keeps her from me as much as possible. Your advice is very helpful.

Feb 19

@David1971 , Your stbx is spiteful because of pride and ego, not because of you...it's from her insecurities (and we all have them and they manifest themselves differently in each of us) and wounds through her life's experiences. If can, try to not take her spitefulness personal. You don't want this cycle to repeat itself through your daughter as she grows into a woman of not trusting men and as a result, looking for love (fulfillment) in the wrong places. Example, I have a good friend in my recovery class. His 4 year old daughter was raped in the park. They caught the man, and my friend bailed him out of jail, and while he was coming out of the jail, my friend shot and killed him. He went away to prison for 36 years. His family felt shamed and told him not to contact anyone while in prison. These 36 years not only was a physical prison, but became a mental and emotional prison. He had a lot of time, 36 years to grow up and think about things. One thing stood out to him... where he killed the man for doing what he did to his daughter, whom he loved and wanted to be with her, this consequence resulted in him not seeing or hearing from his daughter for 36 years! Ironic. Of course, he blamed God and was angry for years. He's since accepted Christ, and is moving to forgive the man. Upon his release from prison last year, the church that came to the prison while he was there, sponsored his reunion with his daughter, who is now age 40!
Treasure each moment with your daughter, don't take her for granted...she was a gift to you and your wife, and in our distractions and culture today, it's so easy to forget the precious gift we've received. Stay as close as you can to her, make it convenient, open your schedule, try to overlook the scuffles and emotional ruptures between your stbx, and take the higher road @david1971. Our lives really aren't that long if you think about it... hold each other, be there for her. Once you bring a child into this life, we all need to become less selfish and not be about ourselves.
I'm also in a blended family...step child and 3 grown children...and it's horribly complex and difficult, but we can all do it, cause we have the God of the universe on our side :) I'll be praying for you @David1971. You already know the right thing to do...it maybe tough, but you know....

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beth65's picture
Feb 21

@KM1622 very nice. That is why I liked my hypnotherapist, the focus is forward thinking; we concentrated on cutting the ties and then envisioning a new life with new people and surroundings.


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