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Five months after divorce... life still sucks. I'm managing,

eddie1975's picture

Five months after divorce... life still sucks. I'm managing, all by myself, but with Christmas coming up I just can't do anything for my kids. My ex has her parents up her butt constantly, cleaning her house, babysitting the kids, cutting her grass, etc. She does nothing on her own. NOTHING. She doesn't even own a car. She drives her cheating doctor boyfriend's car but complains to the kids that she's broke.

According to my spreadsheet they are with me 2/3 of the time and even the 1/3 they are with her fifty percent of that is actually with her parents. She's NOT a mother and I'm sick of it. I want my kids and I want them all to myself. I told her when she first started this divorce nonsense that I wasn't willing to be away from my kids for one minute and I'm getting increasingly frustrated being away from them the little bit of time I am.

My attorney is going to get something done soon I hope. He says that in our state there is some kind of compliance period in which divorce orders adhere to, six months. We have six months to comply. That means we have to get each others names off of any debt we took responsibility for. I've removed/refinanced everything I have with her name on it. She has not even attempted to. That's why I'm still stuck throwing away money on a rental house. Our son turned eighteen last week and she managed to talk him into going to eat with her. Here's what he texted me about that: "Hey I'm going to eat with mom tonight. Here are my reasons for being with a terrible person. 1) Free meal at Olive Garden. 2) I don't have to cook. 3) I get my birthday present 4) She will be more likely to pay for insurance in the unlikely event I get a new car."

I responded: "Sounds good. She's not a terrible person. She just did something terrible. I will love her till the end of time. That's what breaks my heart."

Probably too much but I was trying to play nice to him. I don't want him to know how I really feel about his mother. Honestly, if he feels like he acts to me that's pretty messed up in itself. Anyway he told her she needs to get my name off the mortgage and she told him she can't because she has too much credit card debt she needs to pay off first. She told him I could take the divorce order to the bank and show them that she took the debt. I told him this is why I'm the accountant and she's the nurse because she doesn't know $hit about finances and it doesn't work like that. He said okay I believe you. So here in about 24 days she should be in contempt of court. I can only hope.

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Jimdub's picture
Dec 8

here is another link to some resources about how divorce affects the children

Here4myKids's picture
Dec 8

@Jimdub it's TRUE. My ex has me by the balls and she knows it. She can make any demand she wants and she knows it becuase if she takes it to court it will be worse for me. I will have to pay more for child support and get to see my son less. Here In Washington state if the child is under 3 the man is considered less able to take care of the child than the woman and you cant have any overnights...oh yeah just a little bit biased...

eddie1975's picture
Dec 10

@Jimdub I have been with the same therapist for over two years. I see him two to three times a month. I have told police and two social workers about the abuse in the last few months. My son told the police and one of the social workers. CPS even investigated in August but nothing came of it. She is a sneaky manipulative woman and she has the system completely fooled. Realistically, because I am the man, the finger is always pointed at me. If I didn't have my teenage kids on my side I don't know what I would do. I do pray constantly for God to give me wisdom and help my family. I just hope nothing happens to my kids.


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