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Does living in the same house and being emotionally separate

Does living in the same house and being emotionally separated in the marriage really work? Same thing over and over with no change. I would rather ignore and avoid then forgive and try to forget again. Couples therapy every Wednesday (for atleast 6 months now) and still fighting over the same thing.

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[450]
Oct 9

I am so sorry you are in this situation let alone with two small children to take care of. Does the therapist give you things to work on at home? Has he always been this way or was this something that recently started? My concern is that the verbal abuse could turn physical towards you or your children. Has the therapist mentioned a possible formal intervention involving family members depending on how bad your situation is. Do you think you need to have a safety plan in place if things take a turn for the worse? The most loving thing you can do for your husband is to take action to find help, both for yourself and for him. Hope things turn around quickly for you and your sweet little ones.

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[10]
Oct 9

Don’t waste too much time. I have a 4 year old and wish I had left earlier. I’m in exactly the same situation and have been out since Sunday. I feel terrible but I know I’m doing the right thing for my son and I. It was escalating

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[1540]
Oct 9

@crtitus You definitely get what I was feeling. Was a tough decision to move out, especially knowing I would be seeing the girls a lot less. She wanted the in-home separation until they finish school (one is grade 8, the other is grade 11)--absolutely no way I could live in the basement for 5 years.

Also, there's no closure or ability to move on when you're still in the same home. Eventually I'd like to find someone again, and its tough to do that living in your ex-wife's basement. Staying in the basement until the kids graduate then moving out means turning almost 50 before considering starting over again. Neither was acceptable to me.

My kids are still my top priority, but once I committed to moving out, I was able to finally commit to taking care of my own needs for the first time in a very long time. Getting into the gym more, had a couple social outings with friends from work, studying more, and giving myself permission to take care of my own wellness. I've only recently realized just how isolated I had become, life was just work, tending to the home, visiting the in-laws, and coaching soccer.

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