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Dated 10 years. Married 17. Separated 2 years. Divorced 8

[1860]

Dated 10 years. Married 17. Separated 2 years. Divorced 8 months. Still woke up crying today. I’m trying so hard to moved forward but miss my life and so many regrets I have a hard time letting go of. She just wasn’t happy and I ignored the signs. Neither of us knew how to communicate. I struggle to find any joy in life. I still feel like the only relief I could possibly get is from her and I know that’s not healthy and not going to happen. I think I started a new relationship too soon because Im still crying over my marriage. Now I feel guilty about that. It’s not fair to the new girl. Maybe I need a life coach because I’m just tied of making poor decisions. idk how to break this bond I still feel with my ex. She’s cut off all contact except for very little because my daughter splits time with her. I worry my state of mind negatively effects my kids. Thanks for listening. needed to vent. I wish the best for everyone. Divorce sucks.

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beth65's picture
[27790]
Feb 9

@John2112 my husband almost died on a motorcycle. I took care of him for 5 months after. He said it cleared his head too, and went back to riding, but it didn't clear his head still after a while. Even though I'm getting over him that experience hasn't left me and I have to get over that too I think. I'm glad that works for you some. What were your old hobbies?

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beth65's picture
[27790]
Feb 9

@John2112 I lost my dreams, I was forever creating my dream house with my library, sunroom, fireplaces and lots of walking paths and a large room for parties. And the family we would have together. But that time has passed and that dream isn't fun now. I had thought about foster parenting and my husband and I even took some classes on that once but I'm not sure about that now either. Before my husband I used to walk twice a day. Then when we dated he walked with me a lot. Also I used to go to a dog park for a while. I went to school and was a single mom for many years but I also took my kids Dolphin or whale watching at Virginia Beach a few times and shared that with my husband and his daughter once before we actually started dating. It's a little boat ride basically and then there is a museum there and you could pet sting rays. But that's not a hobby. I'm trying to think if I ever had any hobbies. Reading, walking, kids, dog, work, maybe some tv shows, trying to learn Spanish and Japanese. I was part of a singles group for a few years and used to go hiking with them. I would have to walk a lot to prepare for that, especially since I have asthma. I was into a little crochet for a few years and made some blankets. One thing I don't do is listen to music a lot. I work in silence so I can think. An occasional song maybe, but when I'm down on relationships music just depresses me. Some of my family is into Karaoke and we have recorded some songs and sometimes I do listen to those and sometimes it cheers me up a little. I used to do radon testing and I made up a carton character about radon and I was going to make a coloring book for children and maybe I will get to that again. I'm interested in learning about some things. Hmmm... I probably don't laugh enough either.

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beth65's picture
[27790]
Feb 9

Wow one of the things I have wanted to do which has been a big deal to me is make a difference. I volunteered to help hurricane victims once right before my husband and I went downhill. I wasn't sure I could handle the discomfort but it meant a lot to me. Turns out they put us up in a nice hotel and I had one nice roommate, but the person who drove is there drove recklessly. But I still have had a strong desire for that kind of thing, just don't know what my niche for that will be. I did a basket brigade for a couple years where I gave basket of food away at Thanksgiving time.

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