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Cant live cant die...the grief over this is unbearably stron

Here4myKids's picture

Cant live cant die...the grief over this is unbearably strong. I feel trapped. I believe in an afterlife so I worry that even death might not be relief, only something far worse. I'm living in a nightmare I cant get out of...

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Dec 6, 2018

I am so sorry you are living in such horrible emotions. Your friend was right, one day at a time. You have children to live for! They are a blessing and so deserving of a mom that is there for them. My spiritual mom always told me to start thinking of others. When I was crying and in such a horrible funk in my divorce days, she would tell me to volunteer at a children's hospital or go visit the elderly and cheer them up in there final days of life. Life is so worth living. Everybody has something....not just you. EVERYONE has a story that can top yours! Start slowly setting your focus in a different place. Make a list of new and exciting things you want to do in your life. Make sure you are eating right, sleeping and taking your vitamins. Take good care of yourself. Have you considered counseling? It's a good place to find a new perspective. It always has helped me. Surround yourself with people who love you. Give life a chance. The sun will shine again one day. I know it! I will pray for you!

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Here4myKids's picture
Dec 7, 2018

@Katya12 thank you for the kind words. This is tough and I am trying to take it one day at a time. It is hard not to let my mind wander. I am doing counseling. I also visited a church and want to get more involved. I signed up to volunteer at an aid center. I know I need to push outward and give back. This has left me feeling like a horrible person. I know and people tell me that it wasn't all my fault even know my ex makes it sound that way. I need to push out and repair my life in a new way. It's hard. Sometimes I feel afraid. I'm depressed. It scares me being alone. I know there are others out there. My heart is good and I know I am a good person. I guess the only positive so far is that I have gained full I sight as to who I am and my flaws as a person. I want to be the man I want to be, the man i need to be...

eddie1975's picture
Dec 7, 2018

I've chewed on the end of a 9mm three times in the past two years just daring myself. Looking back it would have been a monumental mistake. For one thing my kids need me because without me they would be forced to live with their mother. Then their moral compass in life would be a cheating lying w***e. That's no good. I'm needed more than I think I am. So are you. I don't want to sound cliche and say "Hang in there, this gets better" but it slowly does. Very slowly. Twenty months for me and I'm ever so slightly better than I was. It just takes time.


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