Been married for 6.5 years, together total 9 years. Before I
Been married for 6.5 years, together total 9 years. Before I met him, my husband had alcohol and marijuana use. He cleaned up when he met me, so I married him. He was then diagnosed with Leukemia and ADHD 3 years ago and took Gleevec and Adderall. He always had some aggression and paranoia, but past couple years, it has gotten worse with verbal abuse and paranoia (control issues, accuses me of cheating with almost anyone). Then 4 months ago, he really got out of control with the paranoia when he quit Adderall cold turkey and I separated from him. During separation, he went to raves and strip clubs and started using weed daily. Now he's totally addicted. I don't know how much more heartache I can take watching a man I used to love so much, throw his life down the drain. Sometimes I blame myself for all these problems because I asked for the separation which was the turning point for him spiraling out of control. what do others think? Should I try to keep helping him, to get him out of addiction? Or should I leave him since we were planning a separation anyways? During the separation, I had hoped he would make more effort to show me his love, but instead he did everything to please himself, including wiping out his bank account on drugs and paying for his friends and siblings alcohol at strip clubs and raves.
I'm so tired and so sad. I have never felt so depressed in my life.
@justwanttobeloved thanks for your wisdom. Somehow I always feel guilty when I think about leaving him. I know that we both love each other deep down, but we are not a good match these days. It's good for people to remind me that he made these choices, and not me...
I'm so sorry to hear that, girl. Wish I could give you a hug. Situation like this are difficult and you don't have to be hard of yourself. Are you seeing a counselor/therapist? A good counselor might be able to give you some solid guidance. I just said a prayer for you, and I hope that God will provide the comfort and help you need at this time. Sending hugs & prayers your way!
@divorce2017 I'm happy to help. Anytime you need to talk, I'm here. I understand the need to be reminded that those were his choices. Keep your chin up!