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At the divorce care class last night I was describing the wa


At the divorce care class last night I was describing the way I'm a rollercoaster, some days I do ok and others I am really depressed. And my happy moments aren't truly happy. Like a dark cloud is permeating everything. Like even the things that give me joy, the joy isn't really joyful now. It's just not the same and hasn't been for a long while. Before I was in a relationship with my husband 7 years ago I was fine. In fact I had been single 16 years and hadn't really dated and did not see marriage in my future, and when people would say when I meet the right one I will change my mind I thouht they were being ridiculous.
Things that brought me joy really brought me joy back then. Then when my husband appeared it was like a miracle.
Now I don't know when I will get that joy back. One of the other ladies in the DivorceCare group agreed and said it was like having a wet blanket on you all the time. Also for me having someone next to me skin to skin, toes on toes at times, the intimacy we shared and all the things I shared in a way I hadn't with anyone else before, and gave myself completely to him. I'm not talking about just sex. In the hospitals they have preemie babies held skin to skin because it helps them. I think the relationship you have with your spouse is the only other way to get this. God isn't going to do this, your dogs aren't going to do it, nothing, absolutely nothing, replaces that special relationship with a spouse. And then to have it shattered. It's hard to go backwards.

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Ellen4550's picture
Oct 10

@Barb4514 I’m not even thinking about a next one...I had a list and this guy checked off the boxes...until he didn’t...and it happened pretty quickly in our marriage...I’m heartbroken one minute and doing cartwheels the is exhausting....can’t wait for everything to be signed, sealed and delivered and hopefully my heart will heal

Oct 11

@Barb4514 I can tell that mentally I'm not who I once was. I'm trying hard to rebuild after the devastation. Still going through the divorce process, could be a long road.

Oct 13

It takes time. Give yourself time to grieve the marriage and your spouse. You lost someone very close to you and your life has changed... that takes time. I am sure you were happy with things while you were married that didn't include your spouse. If your spouse was the only thing that made you happy, then it wasn't a very healthy marriage. I adore my husband and love to be with him, but we also have things we enjoy to do separately... I am sure there is something for you that will bring you joy even in the midst of all of this. And, believe me, as a survivor of divorce, you will get through this and be happy again. :)


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