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Another night. Another struggle to sleep. Constant thoughts

JamieGoodrum's picture
[2720]

Another night. Another struggle to sleep. Constant thoughts about her today. I continued to do everything I would normally. Plan my meals out, go for my run, wash clothes ready for the weekend work etc. I just have this continual sadness that creeps up on me and takes the wind out of my sails.

Its currently 01.45 as I'm writing this. I have to be up in less then 5 hours for work and I cant sleep for the life of me. Still counting the days I've not contacted my wife, which helps, and I'm currently on day 57 (58 if you count the almost 2 hours of today). I've been riding the emotions for over 9 months now and of course some days are better then others. Today though, something feels weird.

I feel really sad and oddly miss her. I was told near Christmas that she isn't the same and that she doesnt appear happy. While in short spurts this makes me kinda happy as she did this to herself, most of the time it makes me sad for her. I shouldn't be sad of course. She made her bed so she has to lay in it. I find myself tossing and turning most nights and quite pathetically of me, I use the other two pillows I have on the other side of the bed as something to hold.

Can anyone reccomend things for me to do when I'm feeling sad? Ad like a distraction? I want to feel normal again. These past 9 months have been the toughest times of my life to date. I go from happy to sad so much that I'm beginning to self diagnose myself with bipolar disorder. I'm obviously not but you know Google and its searches!

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Magi2112's picture
[875]
Feb 10

I know your time is limited. Just reaching out to see how you are doing. Hope it is well.

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JamieGoodrum's picture
[2720]
Feb 13

@Magi2112 hey mate! Sorry only just seen this. I've been away from this site for a while. All is well yeah, thanks for asking! I think this is the happiest I've ever been in my life. Hope you're well?

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Magi2112's picture
[875]
Feb 13

Doing better Have been talking and receiving as well. Thanks for asking. Support me so you can PM if you need. I miss living over there. Was stationed at RAF Alconbury for two years.

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