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I am getting past my depression, but now it is turning into

I am getting past my depression, but now it is turning into anger. As I mentioned in my original post on here I have an 11 year old son and he is an only child. I also mentioned how my current girlfriend seems to be walking on egg shells around him.

This morning before work she asked me what did you son do when you wanted to go out when you were married. I said "Well the last 8 month of my marriage I stayed home with him, and my ex wife was always out."

She said "You mentioned your best friends daughter couldn't babysit your son because of something that happened". I said yeah "When he was 7 years old he wouldn't go to bed, so my friends daughter dragged him across the carpet and through him into the bed. He had a large rug burn spot on his rib cage and thigh. After that we just felt it would be best if we used someone else. She also felt the same way. Why do ask?"

She said "I just feel like he controls the show, and does what he wants. When is the last time he had a babysitter?" I said "The last paid babysitter what when he was 9, I haven't had one since".

She said, "From what I have seen of him he can't stay home alone.
What would you do if I had an important event I wanted us both to go to that was not kid friendly?" I said "I would try and find a sitter for him, or test the waters of him staying alone if needed. I'm sure I would be able to find someone that would watch him."

At this I know where the conversation was going. She was trying to feel out if I had the ability to hang out with her outside of my 5 days away from him. I have him every Monday and Tuesday and every other weekend (Friday-Sunday).

So now I am starting to get upset, because I am willing to see her more often when I have my son. She just acts like he is, (pardon my wording here) "A C**k Block". At least that is the way it is feeling. It hurts me a lot, because she is a 3rd grade teacher, and has 3 kids of her own. So I said to here "Why is it so uncomfortable for you when he is around. He basically does nothing but look at his phone. If we want to go for a walk with the dogs, he goes with us. He asks if he can play basketball with the kids at the park, and you say that him and I can stay and do that but you are going to go home. What exactly is the issue here?"

She said "Nevermind I don't have time for this, I am running late for school." I said "That's fine, but this needs to be talked about and resolved."

What should I do here? I am at a loss. We have such a good relationship outside of the days I have my son. It just hurts on so many levels! Please give some advice

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Doogas2008's picture
Oct 18

Just an update. The talk went real well, she told me that she could see herself with me for the long haul. She said, when it comes to my son she doesn't want to overstep her position. She said, she heard my stories about how upset my son gets at my ex's boyfriend for acting like his dad. She does not want him to not like her, so she minimizes her role.

I can definitely appreciate that, and she is right. Taking that slow is not a bad thing. She also promised me she will make an effort to initiate a conversation with him when she sees him from now on. She felt horrible about yesterday morning, and you could tell after our talk a weight was lifted for both of us!

Oct 18

@Doogas2008, wow, that sounds awesome. It must be quite a relief for you to know she's being sensitive to yours and your son's needs. I'm really glad for you. Looks pretty good. : )

Oct 20

If she has kids of her own she should know exactly where you are coming from. I don’t care if my kids are the biggest pain in the a$$ and they can be, they will always be first.


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