I am just a sexual convienece for him. It hurts but i have t

I am just a sexual convienece for him. It hurts but i have to face that fact. He doesnt love ne and he will never value me. I am nothing to him.

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Jun 20

@grey_waters sorry. How did you get over it?

grey_waters's picture
Jun 21

@me13 Well, first I had to think rationally whether that might be true. And with the last relationship I had it was true, partially. But that's never the whole picture - my ex had loads of issues on top of that. I think he loved me, in a way, but that was more about being afraid of change and appreciating the convenience of having a girlfriend. We were together for 4 years and he wouldn't even live with me. He was just keeping me relatively close in case he needed me for something, and sex was obviously a part of it. Especially that he wouldn't really return sexual favors, wouldn't care if I was satisfied or not. Sex was just a quick relief for him, not a an act of love and passion.
It was really hard to break up with him, I had to do it a few times. But it worked in the end. However, these thoughts didn't leave - my current relationship is good, stable and loving. But when I have a breakdown, this is precisely what I think. That he doesn't care, that he just wants me for sex. This time I know it's not true, it's just my mind messing with me. So if you can analyze the situation rationally and be absolutely sure that this is simply the truth - then leave. You really deserve better and you will find someone who is going to respect you and value you.

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Jun 22

@me13 Honestly, I don't know why he still keeps on bothering me. He's still living with the girl that he replaced me with so it's really weird. But before I completely cut my communication with him, whenever he contacts me he always says he enjoys sex with me more than doing it with the other girl (though it can be just one of his lies). He also looks for me when he needs "comfort". My ex and I were childhood friends turned lovers, so I already know his moods or how to comfort him. The girl he's living with now was a total stranger before they started having an affair, so they have a lot of misunderstandings.
We can't say for sure if your ex will contact you again, but I'm sure that if you cut all communications with him he'll definitely be affected. You've been with him for a long time and the saying is true that "first love" has a significant effect on people.
I know you can be strong enough to resist him. Hugs.

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