I'm still healing from my 2nd divorce from the narc. Honest

mmadlecl's picture
(49870)

I'm still healing from my 2nd divorce from the narc. Honestly, I don't think I'll ever really be the same. Part of it is my age. I'm 67 and retired, so I've had to rethink everything. But another reason is because I don't feel the same about him as most folks on here feel about their ex narc spouses. He did have some good qualities, but God gave him the disorder. I realize how sick and confused and disingenuous he is. I was one half of the good parts of our relationship, realistically even more. Among other things I've done to recover, I've read a lot of books; I call them self help books. I'm currently reading Marc and Angel Chernoff's "Getting Back to Happy." Chapter 6 is Letting Go: Surrendering Attachments That Are Holding You Back. "Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in your journey" is the opening quote. No one has the perfect life. We all have struggles. We have to grieve our loses. Thanks to everyone on this site, I am ready to live my life in a positive way and embrace life as best I can.

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mmadlecl's picture
(49870)
Mar 31

@kelly72 Thank you so much.

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Scat's picture
(339215)
Mar 31

I'm really impressed you're moving in a positive trajectory now. That's so great to know and inspires me. I like to think there is always hope and growth going forward. Yes, sometimes we choose to look back, but only when it can be used for positive changes rather than negative regrets.

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@mmadlecl You ae right in that I am doing better than I give myself credit for. I have a new job, returned to my former maiden name, got a new to me car and new house. Its been painful to watch the retirement assets be cut in half though. Also been a pain in the you know what dealing with auctioning stuff off. Nothing like packing stuff up to move it, then unpack it , then repack it to be moved again to the auctioneer house !

Sometimes I feel like my dreams keep me from moving forward as much as I would like to. Those doggone dreams with the ex, when will they stop?! I sometimes wonder if the grey rock no contact with the ex narc was too extreme but NAH, It doesn't take me long to realize that I do not miss dealing with his incessant neediness anymore. So much rather have dreams that deal with him in real life!

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