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I'm honestly not sure I want to post this, it's embarrassing

GirlKitty's picture
[77710]

I'm honestly not sure I want to post this, it's embarrassing even though I didn't do anything. But I feel like I might explode if I don't vent, so... My ex-narc, his new girlfriend, and my sister hosted a big graduation dinner for my son (at a restaurant) Saturday night and I didn't know anything about it.
There's just something wrong about my sister doing things with my ex-narc, who beat me on a regular basis, and his girlfriend. Even though I regularly had bruises on my face, around my neck, and on my back, my sister doesn't believed that my ex was the problem in our marriage, she blames me for the divorce. A few weekends ago my sister told me she called "Sabrina" (the ex's new supply) and asked her to send me some clove oil (long, stupid story). I blew it off at the time, I actually thought I misunderstood her. But now I realize they're in contact all the time. Maybe I'm petty; maybe this shouldn't bother me, but it does. Am I making too much out of this? Is it okay that they got together without even telling me what was going on? I feel like I at least should have known what was going on. Be honest with me, am I being petty? Am I making too much of something that shouldn't matter to me? Or, am I right to be angry?
Why do I feel so betrayed?

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[132310]
May 29

@MrBrains The article I posted above explains why (high on the spectrum) narcissists, and those with NPD, behave the way they do. NPD is a personality disorder in which the narcissist sees him or herself as perfect, never takes responsibility for his actions or wrongdoings, and always blames the other person. They see the person as all good or all bad. They lack something called Object Constancy, meaning they can’t still feel good about someone they’re angry with, at the same time. A normal person still loves their spouse/partner even when they’re fighting. This is not the case with a narcissist. If they’re angry at you, you are the enemy. They can’t remember the good or loving moments while they are fighting with the person. Since @GirlKitty’s sister seems to be a flying monkey of her ex-narc husband (she’s siding with him), everything is GK’s fault in her sister’s distorted mind........

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outoftheblue72's picture
[14115]
May 29

@Michael72 wow my heart breaks reading your post. I would never let my brother sit alone! And btw he is not going to be winning any husband-of the-year awards! But he's still my brother. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

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Zack88's picture
[1455]
May 31

That's so crazy! You have every right to be this ticked off.

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