I have this haunting desire to put something on paper and se

mmadlecl's picture

I have this haunting desire to put something on paper and send it to my narc ex. I was so in love with him. He said he was leaving 2 years ago, and our divorce is finally over. I've even been able to get everything in the judgement executed without even seeing him. I have no desire to see him or hear from him or have any contact except for writing this letter. The reason is sometimes if I have been wronged, it eats at me until I get in the last word so to speak. Thru the grieving my feelings have changed. My plan was to send him a card and say "To the man I married. God has used the time we spent together and the love we shared to bring me closer to him. For that and for knowing you, I am truly blessed." This is from Rose Sweet's "The Heartbreak of Divorce." Now what I want to say has turned into something else. I was his 8th marriage. One reason I married him was because his last marriage was 20 years, so I thought he had some longevity. They didn't live together. Of course, he didn't tell me that. He said "That has nothing to do with us." It has everything to do with us and his inability to be able to live with a wife. He wanted to stay married. have all of the benefits of marriage for him, and live apart. He is totally deranged, and I just can't stand that after everything he did to me, he honestly believes our failed marriage is my fault. He just couldn't take my abuse.

show more
View 52 More Comments
mmadlecl's picture
Jun 30, 2020

@decisionstomake Narcs never get it right the first time. They just don't think in an in depth manner. Hang in there. It will be over.

beth65's picture
Jul 1, 2020

@Kyleah wow that perfectly describes my ex. I have been saying all along he thrives in drama and can't just be happy. If there is no drama he has to make some. He had a horrible upbringing, parents drinking and drugs, father left, foster care, physical and sexual abuse by two different people, mom who married 7 times. He turned out well considering and at least he is still in his daughter's life and has a home and a viable occupation.

Jul 3, 2020

@mmadwaite Is that what it is? He has to keep practicing over and over? LOL You know, my attorney said the same exact thing about my STBX-- he doesn't think in an in-depth manner or consider the consequences of his actions/behavior. Thanks for the encouragement!

Who Answers?

Where do calls go?

Calls to numbers on a specific treatment center listing will be routed to that treatment center. Additional calls will also be forwarded and returned by one of our treatment partners below.

Calls to any general helpline (non-facility specific 1-8XX numbers) for your visit will be answered by one of our treatment partners, a paid advertiser on supportgroups.com.

  • ARK Behavioral Health

All calls are private and confidential.

Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account