So I'm just completely confused. I just had sex with him a

So I'm just completely confused. I just had sex with him after we got into a big fight, literally minutes afterward. He initiated it and I wasn't sure if I wanted to or not but I did it. He said hurtful things to me and told my son that he better get use to me taking him away from him. He insulted me in so many levels and I cried. Then he told me how insignificant I am to him. After I just sighed everything off that is when he made his move. I don't understand myself. He doesn't want anything to do with me anf Im so focused on him. I miss him and I love him but I don't understand this hurricane of mixed emotions. I take so much crap and I'm angry. He screws other girls and I deal with it. I dont know if I have hope anymore or what. All I know is im beat and i want to hide my disgustingn pathetic self. I feel so stupid. He always throws me to the side im not even a passing thought. I am leaning for a divorce which he has been so adamant about. I feel so unworthy. Ive been trying to focus on myself but Ilost. I dont know who i am or what i like. I want to be positive but jeep comparing myself ti these girls and how they always win. I want to jist die in a ditch besides isnt that where trash belongs? I dont know. I want to just be over him where it doesnt even bother me whatsoever. Help!

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[430]
May 18

@me13 you did not make him like this. That's what he wants you to think. Your better than this. I am a detective in the tri-state area

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[3350]
May 18

@Charlie1980 i hope i didn't. He talks about him buying an apartment and the future and it makes me sad cause he doesnt include me at all. He could careless and like a fool i gave in to him intinately again. I wish i could be smacked into some sense.

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[415]
May 28

Dear me13. You are not trash. You may not believe me when I say this.. but you are not trash. In fact you are a beautiful creation of nature. I can see that you're hurting right now. I know it's hard. But you're strong, I believe in you. Do what you need to do. Remember to love yourself. ❤️ Much love.

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