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This week I have been overwhelmed by a realization that I ca

Kyleah's picture
[10760]

This week I have been overwhelmed by a realization that I can't protect my children from being exposed to the gross behaviors of their father. My oldest daughter has already seen the texts and images he sent to other women. It had such a profound impact on her that I don't think she'll ever snoop again. But, the little one hasn't hit that inevitable stage yet, and hasn't been told explicitly about his infidelity. And, my STBX isn't careful. His computer was unlocked this weekend and easily accessible (hence, how I learned he had genital warts).

I've also been overwhelmed by guilt of not protecting my oldest daughter. She is doing well now and we have a great relationship, but I feel so guilty that she was exposed to what he was doing for over a year. I feel guilty that I can't make him do the right thing and address it with her. I feel guilty that once he moves out, I won't be there to protect her when she is with him. I worry that without that buffer she'll have a hard time dealing with conflict with her dad and take extreme measures to deal (self harm, drugs, etc.).

I still have 90 days of this awful limbo with him still in the house and I'm trying my hardest to get my daughter and her counselor to develop a plan for when he moves out and I'm not there anymore. But, then I feel like I'm being too controlling. It feels like a no-win situation and I'm so angry at my STBX for putting me in it. If he hadn't gone back to his old ways of sexting women and video chatting, I wouldn't have these fears.

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eddie1975's picture
[42410]
Aug 7

@Kyleah wow good thing your parents are in that position. You do need this for your sanity. Don't feel scared or guilty. Do what's best right now and don't think about it. Just do it.

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Kyleah's picture
[10760]
Aug 7

@eddie1975 Yes, I was having a really hard day and asked my parents via email (they are divorced) and was honestly shocked they both said they could cover 1/2. I've let them know how incredible amazing that even offering the help whether I take it or not is. I am so lucky to have my family. They are agree he needs to move as soon as possible.

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[2505]
Aug 7

@Kyleah So relieved to hear for you, it’s torture what he is putting you through. You are almost at this next phase. Idk how you’ll feel, but I am also glad you are taking some time for yourself in November when it’s finalized.

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