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Last week I found out that my wife of 14 years (our annivers

Last week I found out that my wife of 14 years (our anniversary was only a month ago) has been having phone sex with a police officer who lives in another state. We have been together for over 18 years, and as far as I know, we've been faithful to each other until now. We don't have any children. My wife doesn't work (never has since I met her), and she's been waiting until I leave for work in the morning to get on the phone with this guy. I haven't confronted my wife yet about her affair, and I'm meeting with a divorce attorney tomorrow to go over my options. Over the past couple of months, my wife has been more distant, we have trouble communicating, and we've stopped having sex. I've never worried about her faithfulness before this, and the lies, and attempts to cover it up leave me wondering if I forgive her this time, what is to prevent a second time? I'm very hurt, angry, sad & depressed - I can't sleep or eat properly. Should I file for divorce or forgive her & hope it doesn't happen again?

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April's picture
Oct 22

@WilliamH - as you walk through the wreckage you may want to reconsider that feeling of "looking over your shoulder" most days & want/need to take a break for your emotional well being AND she needs to be onboard w/whatever your needs are & in your timeframe.

Oct 22

Go to counseling and forgive. The divorce process is hell and should be avoided if at all possible.

Kas1966's picture
Oct 22

@WilliamH that's a hard one I just think she has got to be 100% on board with your requests. My husband deleted his fb and gave me his pass code but let's face it people if they want to cheat they will find a way.


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