Last night was a rough night. I sat on my bedroom floor bawl

Last night was a rough night. I sat on my bedroom floor bawling my eyes out. Sometimes I get mad at myself for thinking I should be over this by now as it’s been almost 5 months since she left. But at the same time, I feel like some days I’m still in complete shock from it all. Not only was the way she left so painful but her actions following were too. Then to find out just a few weeks ago that she was actually cheating on me was like another dagger to the heart. Not to mention that on top of it all, I saw the guys car at her place. I cannot help feeling this way because it still hurts so bad. I mean I have never had something be so emotionally painful. It has shaken me to my core. Then I start to think about her actions. There’s a lot of cognitive dissonance there. Her actions now are completely opposite of what she stood for and how she acting during our marriage. That’s hard to wrap my head around. Then I think about how when she left, she got to leave behind all the memories and responsibilities whereas I am living in our marital home surrounded by it all. There’s a huge part of me that just doesn’t believe she’s this cruel of a person. There were no signs. Ever. So of course I keep thinking she will snap out of this and apologize but it has yet to happen. She’s too busy being with this other guy. I swear it’s like she’s got her head in some kind of cloud. Although I could never really trust her again if she did come around, I ultimately still love her.

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Kas1966's picture
Feb 16

@Scat I sent you a message

Feb 17

What happens when you know they did but don't have proof. What happens when they went on vacation for 10 years without you. Twice a year no less. I know, I'm stupid. Maybe too kind. No, stupid fits. I thought she found someone on her vacation. 29 years wasted. I hope the future is better than the past.

beth65's picture
Feb 18

@awake2 so sorry that happened that way for you. I'm sure she had a story to go with it.


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