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I finally decided to send a message to my STBX's longer term

Leahzan's picture
[12450]

I finally decided to send a message to my STBX's longer term affair partner. I had tried earlier and thought it was a sign that the whole online postcard order got messed up. But, weeks later and I still have the urge. So, I found a "Good Luck" postcard (which I felt was more appropriate than "Congrats"). The message read:

"Good luck on your new marriage. Hopefully you take this one more seriously than you did mine while you were sleeping with my husband all those years. I do owe you thanks. If you hadn't maintained a relationship with my ex-husband all these years while you were in Walla Walla, I would have never known the extent of his adultery. Hopefully you've changed or at least that your husband knows what kind of woman you are. Good luck."

Yeah, I purposefully chose a postcard because that means her husband may read it (as well as the mailman). She ended her affair with my husband 3 years ago because she moved away, but she maintained contact with him during those years, even after she started dating and moved in with her now husband. It is important to me that these people have some consequences for their actions. They don't deserve to be anonymous.

But, now that itch is scratched and I'm done. There is really only one other person I might reach out to. The only one left that I have contact information for. My husband is back in contact with her. Frankly, now that doesn't matter, but I still feel a need for this woman to know that she isn't absolved from his sins but is played a part in hurting a family. I just haven't found the best opening or message.

I know none of these contacts move anything positive forward except for hopefully just removing the urge. As long as I have the urge, these women take up space in my head, and that is what I want to end.

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[730]
Oct 17

Hello, I know revenge is never the answer but it feels really good. My husband cheated on me with his client. So I called to introduce myself beyond that I had no plan. She said she was expecting me to call and knew what it felt like to be the other woman. Bottom line Im glad I called because she confirmed what my husband was denying. So good for you people should be held accountable just my opinion. Hugs

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Leahzan's picture
[12450]
Oct 17

@Jewlee Thanks Jewlee. I know it isn't the answer. Part of my anger at this woman besides the 2.5 year affair is that she remained his confidante for 2-3 years as he sought new conquests. He'd share information about who he was seeing with this woman which in my mind makes her an accomplice to those affairs, too. Thanks for the hug. Most days I'm doing awesome, but some days I realize these people are still taking up space in my head and I'm so angry at my ex and all his APs.

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[730]
Oct 17

Leahzan, I know it hurts especially they remained friends after. That was their best thinking! So glad your out of that toxic relationship. And your right don't let him or her or them rent any space in your head. Remember moving on and having a good life is the best revenge.

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