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I don't know why I asked but I did. H came by today so we co

I don't know why I asked but I did. H came by today so we could go over the asset forms for our separation. He had had his therapy today and was feeling relaxed. Of course I said you are not dealing with all the emotions of marriage therapy anymore. I also told him that our marriage counsellor had suspected and was gong to confront him at his individual session. He didn't seem phased by it.

I finally got the truth from him on how long he had been on dating websites before starting his affair with the OW. He told me Jan/Feb 2015 while he was on his temporary duty in another city. I just shook my head. At this point its in the past but when I asked him why his answer he was lonely and wanted to talk. I said and you could not call me, the kids, your family, friends etc. It was necessary to talk to other women on dating sites. He says he never met any...ummmm suuuure ok. Like I am going to believe that. At this point all I can say is good bye. It doesn't even hurt like it used to. Now its just disappointment and sadness at this pathetic person he has become.

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eddie1975's picture
[8225]
Jun 13

@Mar109 That's the thing. For us we are lonely but for them they are getting that psychological need of conversation/sex, however far they go, filled. It's immediate gratification for them and they obviously aren't thinking clearly because how do they think an extramarital affair is going to work out? Do they think that this person has morals and is going to be devoted to them? It's laughable and horrific at the same time. It's sad to watch an intelligent being do this to themselves.

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eddie1975's picture
[8225]
Jun 13

@Scat I do believe it is my obligation as a Christian father to fight for the children. Their souls are the most important thing. My wife has told our children that as soon as she is finished divorcing me she will bring them back to church. She told them we will all go to church together. (The confusion alone in those two sentences has boggled my mind) It's good because the children need to be in church but I would say that at least 50% of the sermons in church mention marriage/divorce. The preacher is going to be right there saying it is wrong and the kids will hear every word of it and mom will just be sitting there doing whatever she will be doing to ignore that part of the sermon. I'm going to have to figure out how to answer a lot of questions If that's how it plays out. Not to mention its going to be weird. This is all assuming that my wife gets custody of the children which according to the evidence is not too likely in my opinion.

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Irish925's picture
[8815]
Jun 13

Eddieeskew, honestly I wouldn't believe her. Sounds like to me its just a game she is playing and a very messed up one! She will NOT go w/ you to church, she will NOT take the kids to church, that is going to fall solely on you. Sorry, but that my humble opinion. I am just gonna say it - IMHO, she is lying to you to make herself feel better. She is PROMISING this...right, she's making a promise...whats her track record on keeping her word??? She (cheaters in general) say these things to make themselves feel better (in the moment) and show others (the kids, again in the moment) that "shes really not a bad person..." Dont fall for it...its BS...she is lying to you, her kids and God...nice...real nice...

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