Does anyone find it interesting when the affair partners say

Leahzan's picture
(19260)

Does anyone find it interesting when the affair partners say "place the blame with your husband where it belongs, not me." Uh, I do place the blame with my husband, but those who chose to get involved with married men aren't blameless. Yeah, I know he sought you out, but you also said yes even after learning he was married. You don't get to walk away unscathed (if I can have anything to do about it). Interesting how the APs dehumanize us so they don't have to take accountability.

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(25)
Oct 17

@PiperH83 I am just seeing this now. I confronted her and she was very remorseful. They had already called it off a few months ago and her husband found out about a different affair, her marriage is already in the dumps. I didn't think I was going to say hurtful things but I did. I felt a little bad after but I also felt a sense of relief. I feel like I'm no longer just a name to her..and maybe she will remember there are real people involved in the marriages she's breaking up. Idk.

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(25)
Oct 17

@LaraN1973 thank you for this. I am glad you and your husband are trying to work things out. I called the woman and aired out my feelings too. She's definitely already going through it with her husband and I gave her a piece of my mind. I could've been nicer but I couldn't help how angry I felt. I appreciated her honesty and I felt like Im now able to ad a bit more colour to the story. She helped fill in a few blanks.. so now I can try to make sense of how I'm feeling and what the next steps are. You are right about it being therapeutic though.. I definitely needed to let her know how her selfishness has impacted my marriage. Thanks again.

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(42310)
Oct 17

people who get involved with married people are not blameless unless they do not know that person is married.

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