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Does anyone find it interesting when the affair partners say

Leahzan's picture
[12450]

Does anyone find it interesting when the affair partners say "place the blame with your husband where it belongs, not me." Uh, I do place the blame with my husband, but those who chose to get involved with married men aren't blameless. Yeah, I know he sought you out, but you also said yes even after learning he was married. You don't get to walk away unscathed (if I can have anything to do about it). Interesting how the APs dehumanize us so they don't have to take accountability.

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[25]
Oct 17

@PiperH83 I am just seeing this now. I confronted her and she was very remorseful. They had already called it off a few months ago and her husband found out about a different affair, her marriage is already in the dumps. I didn't think I was going to say hurtful things but I did. I felt a little bad after but I also felt a sense of relief. I feel like I'm no longer just a name to her..and maybe she will remember there are real people involved in the marriages she's breaking up. Idk.

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[25]
Oct 17

@LaraN1973 thank you for this. I am glad you and your husband are trying to work things out. I called the woman and aired out my feelings too. She's definitely already going through it with her husband and I gave her a piece of my mind. I could've been nicer but I couldn't help how angry I felt. I appreciated her honesty and I felt like Im now able to ad a bit more colour to the story. She helped fill in a few blanks.. so now I can try to make sense of how I'm feeling and what the next steps are. You are right about it being therapeutic though.. I definitely needed to let her know how her selfishness has impacted my marriage. Thanks again.

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[42280]
Oct 17

people who get involved with married people are not blameless unless they do not know that person is married.

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