Divorce wasn't my fault, why do I feel so awful and alone?

Well my wife was served with the divorce papers yesterday at work. She works at the local school district as a behavior specialist (go figure). At first it seemed like we were going to work on our marriage, then I discovered she was having an affair. I confronted her, she denied it. At that point I still bought into the fact that yea ok maybe she is just talking to her co-worker so much because he went through the online masters program for education like she’s doing. Then I got actual proof, that she doesn’t know about. This all started with her saying she wanted to separate, so I moved out to give her space like she wanted with no clue at first what was going on. So I went to her on Easter Sunday before she was about to take our kids to her parents and explained that I had undeniable proof and that this is her opportunity to talk to me and tell me what’s going on if she truly wants to work things out, she still denied anything was going on. So back to today, she was served and it named adultery. She been mean in the text communication with me the last week because I cut off her credit card that’s in my name and took half of what was left in the checking account and started my own account. Then when she was served yesterday her tone changed (keep in mind all via text) and it was her now being civil, and has not mentioned anything about being served. I honestly was hoping that this would have sparked her to wake up and realize the family she’s throwing away. I feel like a loser that I can’t save my family. The ones that are paying are my kids and myself. We did nothing wrong, and I’ve given her multiple chances to just be up front and let’s get help and save our marriage. I guess she’s still too infatuated with her co-worker, that me and kids don’t really matter. That makes me feel so low, and I know I shouldn’t because we did nothing wrong. I feel all alone in this world (at least one week at a time as I’m getting my kids one week on and one week off). Only thing I have to look forward to is the next time I get to see them and remind them how much they mean to me and are loved. I defend her to them when they’re feeling angry towards her (they not aware of the cheating). I just thought her being served would have woke her up and I guess I was wrong. And now I’m having to do the one thing I didn’t want to do in this world, lose my wife. Today is her birthday, I had gotten her a sepcial gift before all of this started. So I gave it to the kids to wrap and give to her and not to include me as to who it’s from. First time in 18 years I don’t get huh, kiss her and wish her a happy birthday. I’m not at fault, so why am I the one that feels awful and alone.???

show more
View 14 More Comments
May 1, 2019

@Scat Hell yeah tell the OM's wife.

Scat's picture
May 1, 2019

@johnyun20, yup. Firstly, the o.m could go onto cheat with others. And we don't know how many he already did cheat with. So his wife's life is in danger to potentially deadly STDs. Secondly, the wife is being strung along in lies and given no choice about her future based on any truth. Hiding it is doing her no favors.

May 1, 2019

The one she’s having the affair with was divorced last July. His ex wife works at the same school district that my wife and he work at. It’s a small town, and it’s against school pokicy for something like this to happen, not sure how either still has a job. She still hasn’t mentioned being served the divorce petition. It’s truly hard to be going through this on the weeks I don’t have my kids. At least most of the time I get to see my daughter after school as I usually pick her up. But when they’re not with me it’s an extreme amount of loneliness that I feel, a huge hole in my heart. I’ve been with my wife for 18 years, married 16. I just can’t wrap my head around why she would do this to our family. Sorry about rambling, I have bad days and semi decent days. Today is a bad one. My wife called me at 6:28am and asked if I was in town and I told her no I had already left for work, the she said oh nevermind and hung up. About 10 mins later I got a call from my daughter telling me there is a centipede in their bathroom hanging on the vent in the ceiling. Then my daughter goes oh mommy called someone to come over and take care of it and I guess they’re here because the door bell rang. A a couple seconds after my wife had called me I got a text from her with a picture of the centipede and then in the text she say this could have fallen on my son, maybe on your way to work? And then another “nevermind.” That text was meant for her f buddy. I looked spat our cell phone records and sure enough she called him and he was the one that went to our house, while my kids are there mind you. I can only imagine what the kids think of another man coming to our house, specially that early. To this day my still says oh we’re just friends and he helps with my online master program. Bullshit.

show more

Where do calls go?

Calls to numbers on a specific treatment center listing will be routed to that treatment center. Additional calls will also be forwarded and returned by one of our treatment partners below.

Calls to any general helpline (non-facility specific 1-8XX numbers) for your visit will be answered by one of our treatment partners, a paid advertiser on supportgroups.com.

  • ARK Behavioral Health

All calls are private and confidential.

Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account