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Can someone please give me some advice on what and when to t

Can someone please give me some advice on what and when to tell my kids about my wifes affair. My wife plans to move out but that means we have to tell the kids whats happening. Should we tell the kids now or try to hold off until after the holidays?

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_Maria_'s picture
Dec 4

@Jamespromo In my opinion and in this situation i feel kids DO come first. I would never mention the word affair, it would be hate and selfishness talking. Would definitely wait for after the Holidays. Whatever there is to know they will eventually find out and i'm sure they know something is not right already. I went through the same, i didn't try and turn them against their father, they had seen enough. I tried to make sure they had some sort of relationship with their father, what happened between us does NOT include the kids. Why make it worst than it already is? I never regreted my decision. This was over 5 years ago, they are aware of what happened now, they're 18 and 20, they have drawn their own conclusions, they live with me. They have contact with their father and his now girlfirend, former lover. As long as they are not hurt by any of them i'm fine with it. Hate doesn't solve anything, the mental health of our kids is far more important and they understand things far better than we give them credit for.

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outoftheblue72's picture
Dec 4

I do not have children, but our young nieces/nephews do not know the reason that we are not together. 12 & 14....still young kids and they can't really understand. I would try and make this as least traumatic as you can. They will end up hating their mom if you tell them it's her fault that you are no longer together.

Dec 4

@devastatedinptbo thank you


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