Newest Blog is out, Support is Necessary!!!
Make sure to click READ MORE to see the full article. -SG
https://www.supportgroups.com/blog/support-is-necessary or click BLOG on the GREEN menu bar

I recently found out that my wife of 6 years has cheated on

I recently found out that my wife of 6 years has cheated on me again. We are a split family. I have 3 children with my first wife. Ages 20, 15 & 12. She has one child with her ex-husband. Age 9. She never really wanted kids but she fell in love with me so she accepted mine. In the beginning, before we were married, she cheated on me because she says she was overwhelmed. Now, after all of this time, house together,family, she did it again. She refuses to tell me the details but I found a Messages on her phone between her and someone else. I believe this other person is a woman. I believe it was a short-lived affair and she is done now but I don’t feel that I can ever trust her again. She is trying to move on and very affectionate with me. She is leaving her phone with me to try to prove that it’s done but the fact is that the damage is done also. I just don’t know what to do because we are so entangled in each others lives, The kids are in school and have friends and my family home is 4 hours away in another state. I am leaning deep into my faith and living minute by minute just trying to breathe.

show more ⇓
Comment
 24
View 21 More Comments
[120]
Nov 12

@devastatedinptbo thank you SO much for the resources. I printed the link and told her about it. I read it but I’m not going to stuff it down her throat to read. She knows I have it printed out and also that I want her to read it but so far, she wants nothing to do with it. As for the book, I bought it and am nearing the end. It’s so helpful to feel understood. I just can’t thank you enough. I have a long road ahead of me but it’s day by day.

Reply
hap's picture
[5760]
Nov 12

As I was reading this, it occurred to me that the very foundation on which a marriage is built has been gone for a long time. You are not responsible for her problems. You need to take care of yourself first. Cheaters will often say, "I will never cheat on you again (until the next time when I cheat on you again")

Reply
[120]
Nov 13

So, today I took the step to print and fill out the divorce/legal separation paperwork. I am leaning toward legal separation. She has family here that she can lean on and live with temporarily. I have no one. We have my kids full time and hers part time, so I need the house. Her ex husband lives right down the street so her son is going to be fine getting back and forth to school but me and my kids have no one. I believe, if push comes to shove, the judge will see all of this and make her move out. I just can’t stand to be around her day in and day out. It’s killing me a little more each day. She acts as though nothing ever happened and wants to just move on. I can’t do that. All of the missing pieces of her affair leave me imagining the worst. Every time I touch her, I wonder if her affair partner touched her there. I’m thinking legal separation until summer and then go from there. Maybe a dose of reality will wake her up. Probably not. Wisconsin is a no fault state, so her infidelity really doesn’t matter. I’m hoping the space will help me to begin healing and planning for a future without her. I just don’t know. For all intents and purposes, I have my wife back now. The way she acts now is how she has always acted. Close to me, loving, caring. It’s like she was someone else when she committed that horrible act. The problem is that I can’t stop imagining what she did. There is no accountability or justice. I am going to try to work with her using the divorce recovery resources as well as her counselor before I drop this paperwork on her but a HUGE part of me wants to throw it in her face and yell “Get Out!” Such a roller coaster of emotions. Ugh!!!

show more ⇓
Reply

Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account