Pride Month, COVID comes a knockin and Queen Bee Beyonce
Our Newest Blog is up and it is a MUST READ!!!!


It's been a while since I have posted here and so many thing

It's been a while since I have posted here and so many things have changed. Last I updated was in June when I gave in and had sex with him. He was attempting to work things out and it shook me because I was torn thinking about if his intentions were sincere. After talking to my therapist, I told him that we could think about having the conversation if he went to therapy and gotten some help. I'm assuming that never happened. These past 2 1/2 weeks have been particularly hard. Last Friday he introduced his new girlfriend to my girls (ages 6 & 12) and she slept over the very first time she met them. They have a 1bedroom and only have bunk beds so he made my girls share the top bunk bed while him and his girlfriend slept on the bottom. I obviously was disgusted because that is just giving my kids the wrong message (he only said it was his "friend"), he had no respect for my daughters' privacy and that just shows what type of female she is (her being ok and thinking nothing is wrong with the sleeping situation).
He had called me before the girls came home from his place to give me the heads up that the girls may start talking about them hanging with his friend for 2 days because he has respect for me and wanted me to hear it from him first, downplaying it that they went painting and to the mall whatever. I stopped him mid sentence and 1) told him I didn't need specifics on his life 2) needed him to clarify that when he said "friend" if he meant this was his new gf 3) I clarified that this was not respect because respect would've been having a conversation with him before he brought this chick into the picture to see what I thought. He went on to say he actually sees himself with this person and I quickly reminded him that him and I just had sex in June and he was trying to come back so how did all of a sudden he know he wanted to be with this person and the girls are going through a lot emotionally and he isn't even considering them. (Before this my girls were spending the majority of "his court ordered time" with his mom and now the weekend that he decides to stay home he does this? Like where is the respect for my kids and where does making them feel like a priority come in)
Of course when the girls came home the little one spilled the beans of what actually happened with the girl. He finally signed the divorce papers (after 2yrs waiting) all of a sudden. The girl slept over again this past Thursday night but this time he and her were in the living room and he asked my oldest how she would feel if this chick would come over all the time now - my oldest said she would be ok with it.
It's been a lot for me to process especially since I feel he has no regard to how this will impact my girls -ages 6 and 12- showing them it's ok to just jump into these scenarios in relationships. But I know it also hurts me because this just confirms that it is really real. I question whether it was all real or fake- love, marriage, his words, feelings....we just had sex in June and he was talking about going to therapy because he wanted to be a better man. I also feel betrayed by my daughters because they like this girl and they see nothing wrong with it. I don't know how to act around them or talk to them because all I want to talk about is this situation.
I don't even know what to ask the Lord for. I can't seem to get myself to pray or to even read the bible. I just feel like a burden to everyone right now and it's hard to be around other people because I dont want my sadness to pour into another person when I know I have health and I have been blessed beyond words, there are others whose health is compromised and here I am being distraught over something that many others make it seem like it's not a big deal.

show more ⇓
View 35 More Comments
Oct 22

@Scat No. There really aren't. And it is was completely broke me of my love for him. I mourn who I thought he was. But the stuff I found out about him after I finally left makes my skin crawl. He's a predator and nothing else.

Oct 22

@Autumnrain, yah, notice we never find out all of what they really were until we end it with them? I'm still finding stuff about my ex almost 30 years later. He truly lived a double life also.

Oct 22

@Scat It is truly scary.


Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account