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In my head logically I know that reaching forgiveness is an

[6485]

In my head logically I know that reaching forgiveness is an important step and a good thing. But it seems impossible when I speak to my ex who is such a covert narcissist and continues to work in narcissist comments and abuse in normal conversations about mundane stuff. What’s different now is that I’m hyper aware of how she does this, before I was really unaware of how badly she treated me through these digs. But it just seems difficult for me to feel like I will ever get to forgiveness as long as I have to continue hearing her BS. Divorce will be finalized Monday and we are in a coparent situation

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[485]
Aug 11

At this point I’ve been forced to parallel parent with my narcissist ex. I made the huge mistake of trying to coparent with him for 7 years. I was naive. He found a way to minimize me and gaslight me getting our daughter involved. An example is once we were reviewing our teens report card. She had over 30 tardys. I was talking to her with the narc and asking why she was late (she walked one block to school) and told her that she needed to correct this and she’d have consequences (grounded) if she continued to be late. She was smiling looking behind me and when I turned around my ex was mocking me behind me to her. He did this so often. He made up lies about me and he’d gaslight me and when I got upset he’d tell our children “I try so hard to be nice to your mom but she just gets mad.” When he was the one calling me names and being unreasonable. He was cruel to me then plays victim. This has greatly hurt my relationship with my oldest daughter. I quit coparenting to prevent this with the younger ones.

Be careful. I can’t forgive my ex for the lies and turning our oldest daughter against me and very likely turning her into a narc too. She’s very mean to me and acts like him now.

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[6485]
Aug 11

@Lethergo2 I’m very sorry to hear your situation that must be very hard on you

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[485]
Aug 12

@Torch1976 thank you. It hurts me to see my daughter. She’s 18 now. I caught him a few times telling her “Don’t be a b$&” like your mother.” The kids go to his house and come back with accusations towards me and attack me about stuff that’s twisted or made up. He treated our oldest daughter like an adult. Often consult her with adult coparenting decisions. He’d tell me that’s what “_______” wanted. And I’d say aren’t we the adults here. When I told her she could not spend the night at her boyfriends in high school, he told her I was unreasonable and invited her to live with him so she could do it. She was spending the night with her boyfriend 3-4 nights a week in high school after she went to live with her dad. She’d be rude to family members and I’d try to correct her and he’d just laugh at me and smile at her. He encouraged her to be rude to people and especially me.

Since she’s an adult now he’s turned his attention to our twins who are 10. I refuse to let this happen with them. I’ve read up on how to combat it. Im doing my best.

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