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A topic for the weekend...for all our new friends, tell us w

A topic for the weekend...for all our new friends, tell us what you did to get through the pain and stress of your divorce? If you're new, but are doing well, tell us what you're doing to get through the pain and stress of your divorce?

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[1185]
Sep 17

@blindmike Thanks Mike I hear you, I am just so numb after all I have given up, it is so painful to me, I hate to admit it but I feel like I am no good to myself or anyone else.

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[1540]
Sep 18

Biggest two steps for me were learning to focus on my own wellness and finding someone I trust to be able to talk things out. Tried counseling briefly, but didn't really connect so I didn't find it useful. Hit the gym a lot, starting going out with friends from work, put a lot of energy into coaching my daughter's soccer team. Basically found positive outlets.

During our previous near-divorces my focus was way too heavy on pointing at my own faults and trying to "fix" what I felt was wrong with me. Tortured myself on a daily basis trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. Didn't eat, didn't sleep, felt a TON of anxiety. Held everything in because I didn't have anyone I could talk to (wife's hometown, no ties of my own outside of work and soccer parents).

Finally reached out to a friend, someone who could keep the information private. She had been through an ugly divorce a few years back and is a very private person so turned out to be the perfect confidant. Met every week or so over coffee or hiking to talk about life, both related to the separation and just life in general. Talked about what I'm doing to take care of myself and take positive steps. Talked about the marriage, what the interpersonal dynamic has been over the years, and realized through this how toxic the relationship had really been. Also listened to her issues, which made me feel like we were helping each other, that it was a two way street. Positive feedback and feeling appreciated made a world of difference.

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[310]
Sep 20

I am seeing a therapist as my depression and anxiety is crippling. On meds, thinking about a diet regimen so I eat, and daily exercise outdoors. But it is still a raw thing. And my lack of employment gives me too much time alone, not to mention the fear of being destitute. Still a big work in progress. Thankfully, I have a friend who is a counselor and will let me unload when it gets too much. I am trying to wean myself from her, as no friend can deal with all my baggage (trust me, the divorce only tipped me over the edge, the mountain was already built).

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