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cjb25's picture

*Please no hate comments*

I am the other woman. I know what most people would call me: sl*t, wh*re, homewreaker, evil, b*tch.. But I am just human. And I am not doing this because I want to hurt people or I take joy in stealing from others. Am I a little selfish, sure. But so are we all in our own ways.
Let's give you some context here... I have been friends with this man for 10 years now. We were close through most of highschool and drifted apart after he got engaged to his now wife. She was extremely jealous and would not allow him to have any contact with his female friends what-so-ever. I was best friends with his sister, who she also told not to be around me, especially after I left the cult that his wife and I both grew up in.
She is very controlling and manipulative, and I believe emotionally abusive to him. But I tried to stay out of it. It's none if my business, I kept telling myself. Was I upset at her for taking away two of my closest friends? Absolutely. But I don't hate her, and I'm not doing this for revenge. I actually feel sympathetic toward her for many reasons, and I know that she acts as she does because she has been through alot in the past.
The thing is, I love him. I know he's unhappy, I see it in his eyes. But he feels guilty and won't leave her because he doesn't want to hurt her.
Now this affair didn't happen as a calculated thing. We ran into each other completely at random late at a fast food place. We had both just gotten off work. I a waitress, him a cop. I could feel the sexual tension as I talked to him, I could tell he wanted me. I could see the look of frustration and despair in his eyes when I mentioned his wife and asked about her. I told him I was leaving my abusive husband and the look changed, I saw him struggling to contain his anger. He took my number and gave me his and we parted ways. I did not expect him to ever actually talk to me again, but he did.
He started texting me regularly, a few times a week. Checking on me and just wanting to talk to me. Then he said he wanted to hang out sometime but didn't know how it would work because he didn't want his wife to find out. If she knew he even spoke to me she'd be furious. Well one day when work was slow for him and I was off, he texted me to come meet him in the town he was patrolling and just talk a while. And that's all that happened. We talked. He stayed in his patrol car and I stayed in my truck, our windows rolled down just talking about random things.
Just like always I felt that sense of safety with him, he was an old friend and I had really missed him.
Then one day while he was drinking he started getting flirty over text, and in spite of myself I flirted back. I felt like he deserved better, and I thought maybe I can be that for him. I'd never try to control him or keep him from friends. I'd trust that if he cared for me, he'd be faithful and come back. It went from that to him suggesting I join him in the shower, when I said I liked the idea he was happily surprised but said he should probably stop talking. I let him, I was trying to let him set the boundaries. I knew I wanted him, but I wasn't sure how he felt.
He ended up asking me what I wanted and what my boundaries were and I confessed that I had a crush on him for a while. He was happy and told me that he'd had a crush on me for several years too.
You can probably guess what happened next. We sexted... Then I slept with him. It was seriously the best sex I'd ever had. But I began to wonder if I could really handle this...
He offered me no delusions, no lies. He says he loves his wife and doesn't want to leave her, they've been through alot together. Have one child, and lost 2 babies. But he still wants to be with me, and wants to be friends even if we don't have sex. He didn't try to manipulate me into it, I'm not claiming to be a victim. He let me know I didn't have to have sex with him, he'd still hang out with me and be friends even if I didn't do that. But honestly I wanted at least that much with him. To say I'd slept with him, that we'd shared something special together.
I'm not a sexy woman, at all. I'm a mom myself. I have stretch marks across my belly and thighs, and I still have a mom pouch from my 9 month old. I'm not a sl*t, I've only been with 2 other guys in my 25 years of life, and one of them was my husband. I truly care for this man... I just don't know what I want to do about it. Part of me wants to keep doing this and hope that something happens and he realizes he wants to be with me more. But another part of me knows that's probably just a fantasy. But I don't want the fantasy to end...

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1972Pam's picture
Jul 11

sumnumber...agree...I hear you. You are strong to have ended it and walk away. I hope you find healing and peace and a man who can actually be there for you and in your life 100%.

Jul 11

I want to post on this

Jul 12

NO MORE COMMENTS ON THIS THREAD AS IT HAS REACHED 100 plus comments. @CJB25, please feel free to start a part 2. THANK YOU!......


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