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Depressed. I am trying to divide our lives and it is like th

Depressed. I am trying to divide our lives and it is like the world is out to get me. Why is this so hard? I needed a small personal loan refinacnced in my name only, nope we can't do that. Why don't you have your husband come in? Gee i don't know?? Maybe because he is a **** and I am trying to get away from him? I tried getting his name taken off the elec bill for my house, nope he has to do it (even though the account is in both of our names, his is just what shows on the bill). So I asked what happens if he doesn't and files a change of address? My elec bill then goes to his house, and of course he ain't gonna pay it. Oh well it's still my responsibility to get it paid. WTF. Can I not get a break here?
HE is texting me lecturing me that an uncontested divorce should not take this long. We separated a month ago, I just filled out and returned the papers my lawyer requested about 2 weeks ago. Papers that he (my future ex) thinks I should have copied and given to him to give to his lawyer, so he didn't have to fill them out. He also keeps demanding I provide all this paperwork, proof of income, bills, (not just my stuff either) etc. I am not his freaking secretary. I finally told him that his lawyer could get what she needed from mine, and then he gets all pissed. "So now we are only talking thru the attorneys? You are being unreasonable."
I am taking our daughter to a therapist. He got pissed. Claims I was trying to hide it from him. Honestly? I don't think I was, but maybe? Mostly I am just so used to taking care of all the dr appts, dentist appts, etc that i never even thought about asking him. Now he is saying that I can't take her back, because we are (unfortunatly) going to have joint legal custody and will have to agree on things llike this. I really don't know, but I sure hope this is not true, because if so he will get his way all the time becasue his answer will always be no. He isn't even concerned with if she wants to go, it's just all about his "power" as her father. He really made her mad, which then is of course my fault because she is mad at him. It couldn't ever be because of his own actions.
Then I get the, you could stop all this right now. I will come home and we will be the perfect family. He kept going on yesterday that he would be willing to just swallow all the money he has had to spend to set up his new life. I just needed to stop being so stubborn. What about swallowing his pride? What about apoligizing for being him? What about a fricking personality transplant??
I'm just so tired. And it's like the hits are just going to keep coming. From him, from life. Sometimes it feels amazing to be free of him, to know that there is light at the end of this tunnel and other days... like right now, i know this isn't a tunnel, its a hole and there is no other way out but back, or letting the weight of what i have dug out crush me.

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Mar 13

@irisheyes815 Thanks. I guess I do know it will get better but some days are just so frustrating. He has now said he doesn't mind helping me get this done. What a ****. Even without the divorce the loan had to be refinanced. But now it is something he will see as me owing him. I don't want to owe him anything. He also said he had set money aside for me , since we aren't divorced yet and he hasn't been ordered to pay child support. But I have to ask him for it. I wouldn't ask him for a glass of water if I was on fire.

Mar 13

It only seems like a tunnel. Eventually he'll find another source to badger, manipulate, and harass. My narc ex husband stalked me when I left him decades ago. It took at least the first year before he finally gave up harassing me, but he finally did. Now he's just civil when I have the misfortune of running into him.

Jenn4473's picture
Mar 13

Hi, Echo. I hear ya. I had a similar problem with my ex. Our phone bill was in his name only. I could not call to make changes or anything. He moved in with his girlfriend (while still married to me) and stopped paying the phone bill, leaving me and his children with no phone and no reliable car. He continues to flex his daddy muscles to this day. But Scat is right. He will soon move on and find someone else to bully.


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