I have been married for 20 years and my husband wants to sep

[100]

I have been married for 20 years and my husband wants to separate. The marriage has never been good, but I am terrified. He's a basically good person. He deserves better than me. I've never been the wife he needs. I've always been distant and selfish. But I'm terrified now that it is ending. I'm paralyzed and can't imagine what my life will be. So depressed. Such a feeling of failure and hopelessness. I can't see a way forward or through this thing.

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[210]
May 19

I wonder how many couples we see and know are together just because they are terrified of the unknown if they separate? Probably more than we think. I think we can become a habit to each other, too. We don't want to give up a good lifestyle that we may have created. I have this vision of living in a small little dark place and barely making it if I were to leave. I fear my son will will be terribly sad. I fear my depression will get real bad and I will not be able to keep a job because of it. It's agony. But, dealing with an alcoholic is hard and then he in turn is dealing with a withdrawn and not very nice wife that doesn't want to have sex with him. Don't even suggest all the therapy, etc. We've been through it all.

You have to believe that if your husband were to walk out on you today leaving you to start over from scratch and taking all the friends that you could make it. You might not like it but you can make it. I have a friend that is divorced and trying to make it in her little apartment and I have told her that there's something very empowering about her situation from an outsider looking in. She's come a long way and has the best attitude and with that has attracted many friends. I almost envy her!

There's so many people on the website that can relate.

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[100]
May 19

Thank you for this. I work full time, but at a very low-paying job. My husband owns his own business. My lifestyle will change dramatically when we separate ... his, not so much. I gave up my power when I had kids and stopped working to raise them. Now I find myself at nearly 60 years old with a near minimum wage job and a husband that doesn't want me anymore. My parents are dead, my kids are grown, and I'm alone. If I were younger, being alone wouldn't bother me one bit, but at my age, I just feel like it's the end of the road for me. I have no one that I can talk to but my therapist. I appreciate you all being here.

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[100]
May 19

@AcidRain Thank you.

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