My Girlfriend is a Lesbian

I'm a man. My girlfriend is a lesbian. And we're in love?

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ethanA's picture

My girlfriend tells me she's a lesbian, but begins and ends the conversation by assuring me she still wants me and is in love with me. We live together and talk of a future together. She's being honest by telling me, and I love her. Still, this seems bizarre. Advice? Empathy? Real knowledge?

She's talking to a support group for coming out and I guess I'm looking for something similar. I don't really know where to go with this. I'm the exception? Can there be one? I'm very confused and in love.

Please, help.

God Loves Us's picture

hey ethanA,
Welcome! That has to be pretty tough and confusing to find that out from your girlfriend.

That is good that she was honest with you and I'm sure she does love you.

I am a woman myself, but I am striaght, so I'm sorry that I have no way of relating or giving my perspective in any other way. I can share a women's point of view though.

She may be sharing this because she has thoughts of meeting women and maybe telling you ahead of time will relieve some of her feelings and sort it out? I'm not sure and I don't mean to worry you by saying that. I could be wrong. Just a thought. It also does seem confusing that she told you she still wants to be with you, but is lesbian? I would maybe ask her more specific questions about that when the time is right. Because I can understand how that would confuse you.

Also, if she was truly 100% lesbian, i think it would be hard for her to be attracted to a man, so maybe she is bi and just trying to figure it out? Again, I"m not sure and just sharing my thoughts, as I have no personal experience in this area.

I wish I could be more helpful. Basically just wanted to reach out and give some support.

Also, as someone who has utilized the benefits of counseling in my life, my advice would be to DEFINITELY find a relationship therapist that you can both see together, or maybe find someone for yourself to help you makes sense of this and the dynamics of your relationship.

Another thing to keep in that I know you love this person and I'm sure it is genuine, but also PLEASE make sure that you are willing to face or know everything involving your relationship before you decide to make a long term commitment or marriage. I say this from watching tons of friends and relatives in all kinds of relationships and no matter what the source of trouble is, it always seems like taking time to address things and being sure that this is what you want is a wise thing to do. It can prevent future heartache. I suppose it depends on what you are willing to accept.

I hope this helps some and I hope you are able to find some answers for yourself and your girlfriend. Good luck!

Aka God Loves Us: The G.L.U. that keeps us together:)

domestic's picture

hi there

so your girlfriend to be honest is bisexual, she can appreciate a good looking female body as well as yours,

i dont think u have much to worry about if u have a loving secure honest relationship based on trust and communication.

i have a gay son who still appreciates a good looking girl but in the equipment department it does nothing for him whereas his partner gives him instant hots.

but i would advise u to get some sort of counsuling so that u both understand the pitfalls of moving ahead with this realationship so that u are both on the same page.

it might just b a fantasy of your gfs

but what ever u do decide have a commmunication heavy relationship

loving thoughts and positive vibes

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