These last few months have been the most difficult in my lif

These last few months have been the most difficult in my life by far. There is just too much to explain here and lots of context that, if not completely revealed, makes the story seem like there are easy solutions. There's not. I've been forced to be lonely. My body won't afford me to work the way I need to so as not to mess up my back even more. And because of my money situation, even food has been difficult to come by. Meanwhile, I've really had very very little support and NO quality personal interaction. It's really REALLY depressing.

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Jan 11

@jonthecomposer Well I'm glad you do realize how much you have to offer and it does sound like you have alot to offer. It's too bad you are in such a small depressed area. I'm sorry for your loss of your dad and brother that's really sad.
It's good to know that you are in a relationship at least you have that but like you explained, that can be good one day and maybe not the next since she has a long list of struggles too. I think its vital that you get a diagnosis I hope you get it in the near future. I wish you the best.

jonthecomposer's picture

@Fohb460 Thank you. Loss gets easier with time. It's just difficult not to think I'll be next. Like, I don't have mortality anxiety as much as I just know I shouldn't waste my time. And I do appreciate the well wishes on everything else. I'm doing my best right now.

jonthecomposer's picture

@Poodlelove Thank you for remembering me! I appreciate that. Unfortunately, no. One single aspect of my life is better and everything else is the worst it's ever been by far. But it'll be ok eventually. It's just tough right now because I can't even meet my own basic survival needs.


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