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Random thoughts: (TW depression, assult, and a bunch of othe

sry's picture
[1955]

Random thoughts: (TW selfharm PLEASE dont read if it trriggers you, depression, assult, and a bunch of other stuff.)

So, recently I have been trying to go of my medication (anti depressants) since I have had a stable 9 months and have over all not really been down, however now after lowering my dose with 25 mg im getting really worried about everything. Im thinking it might just be my body adjusting, but I don't want to loose this fight. Im going to keep on with this dosage to see if I can take it and if it feels okay i might go down further, but I'm worried that I still might have some unresolved trauma that will keep me from goin of it completely. Either way, I saw this trend on social media where you express what you survived, to see how far you have come and to be able to feel strong. That actually made me feel a lot better than i Thought it would, so here goes: I have survived.I have survived 8 years of depression and anxiety. I have survived a life of dermatillomania. I have survived sexual assult. I have survived 5 years of suicidal thoughts.I have survived 2 years of self harm. I have survived trauma. I have survived 2 years on antidepressants. I have survived. I did that. I have ways to go, but I have come far. I have a long road to recovery ahead, but I am here and I survived. It feels powerful to say it.

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sry's picture
[1955]
Jul 11

@MD1992 thank you! And you too!

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sry's picture
[1955]
Jul 11

@ChaoticCalm Well, she lied about a procedure that I could have had. It sucked. She told both me and my mother that there was nothing I could do and that I was going to be a certain height either way. I was devestated. Later we found out that there was a procedure I could have had that would have stopped me growing, atleast a few inches. It sucked. Her reasoning was that "I looked so comfortable with my height". I truly felt like a freak. That was probably the bullies faults too though.

Well, after a long being isolated and supressing emotion I can imagine that would affect you. Hope you feel more comfortable around your self and can express your feelings now. It's so important for your health!

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[150]
Jul 14

@sry Interesting how things go. Have you stopped growing in height yet? I'm sure that didn't feel so good finding that out. I wonder what the doctor expected. If they wanted to see you balling your eyes out before they realized you weren't " comfortable in your skin"....and yeah bullies would've found something to hurt you with regardless. If it wasn't height it would be something else. You sound like a great, intelligent person to me tho. I hope more people just see you for you.

Has the bullying stopped now that your out of High school? I found that a lot of the BS ends once graduation happens.

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