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I need a pick me up...some hope please! This has been a

I need a pick me up...some hope please!

This has been a pretty dreadful year, and I'm really afraid. It probably wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't doing this alone, but here I am...alone! I know I'm far from the only one that has had to go through tough times, but this is really overwhelming me.

Here is just a quick synopsis:

I made my boyfriend leave in march...horrible toxic relationship with more issues than I can write down. I quit my job to work for him and make his business better. So, when we broke up I had to get a job.

I got a great job working for a completely toxic person just out of prison, who had threatened children and was wearing an ankle monitor. The job went bad really quick because he demeaned me and humiliated me daily. I hung in for two months hopeful it would get better and then he fired me. It was for financial reasons, but he said I was a problem...this hurt me badly because I had always been the good employee!

I had to go back to work for the ex! That wasn't on it's face horrible, but he sucked me back in only to discard me again...and I had to keep working until I found another job.

I was in a car accident, and I really hurt my neck, shoulder and knee. I've been going through treatments and the shots in my neck made me really sick - So bad that I could barely function for two weeks. Now I can't do anything to fix it.

My best friend in Texas send my flowers for Mothers Day. This sounds lovely, but they were lilies...my cat ending up dying because of pollen from the lilies!!!! This was my only little person!!!

I have now been able to find a job, but it's literally at half the amount I used to make...when I say my bills are $2000 a month and I make $2100 a month this is not an exaggeration!

I'm 52...I have always been so healthy and independent. I have taken care of two men in my life and built them businesses. I have walked away with nothing.

I am finally aware of how I have ruined my life, and it will never happen again...but right now I'm really struggling and I am out of options. I just need some understanding I guess. I find myself so paralyzed with depression, anxiety, and fear...I have to force myself to move most of the time.

I am horribly in debt, and I have no other resources...I just need a hug and a miracle!

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[36315]
Aug 16

I hope that you have started to feel a little better. Sorry for your losses and that you have struggled so much. Sending hugs your way and praying for a miracle.

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[1380]
Aug 17

@DClady1952 Thank you so much. I've kind of settled into my new normal. I'm just trying to keep my anxiety under control by keeping busy and not looking past the day. When I try to think about my future it's too overwhelming I think.

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[36315]
Aug 18

@Lorette
You are welcome. You are handling the situation the best you can.

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