I have not made a post in a long time. I have not adjusted t

I have not made a post in a long time. I have not adjusted to the new look and I've buried my mind into working. Saturday night was a major trigger for me. I let my youngest child go with his dad & he allowed the woman that lead to my filing for divorce interact with my son after I told him that would be unacceptable. He has told me over & over again that he's not in a relationship with her, so why have her around my child. He lied & told my son that she's his sister. He also said she doesn't interact with my son she just stopped by to see him at his grandparents house & gave my son some candy. I don't allow my kids to eat candy unless its a special occasion. I felt very disrespected & violated all over again. I cried my eyes out and started having chest pain, I couldn't sleep, eat or get out of bed on Sunday. It felt like when I found out he was cheating all over again. All he could say was that I was overreacting. If you have been where I've been you will understand how hard & painful this is for me. If I had the power I would take this pain away in a instant. I would make it to where anything my ex does or does not do wouldn't have any affect on me at all. This hurts tremendously. It's going on 4 years since I left him and I will not stop until I've fully recovered no matter how much I am down in the dumps.

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(10365)
Feb 28

Hi@Tiredofmyself I can agree about I focus too much on what he doesn't do its not intentional. This is all a process for me, I am still hurting from my divorce & everything he's done. My goal is to get over it all & I will eventually. I made it my business to block him out as much as possible but if I need his help & he doesn't help it brings me back to feeling down & hurt. Were you & your kids father married & was it a easy transition to be a single mother? My ex helped me with our kids when we was married its not like I've been a single mother from the start. Our oldest is 15 years old. I am a single parent who figures things out on my own but there are times when I ask him for help because I don't have any other choice. Also I teach my children just as you about what to accept from either a man or a woman. I try to prepare them as much as possible about life and people. My problem isn't him having a woman around my kids my problem is that particular woman. I don't want her around my kids & I have my reasons. He said she's not his girlfriend so he should respect what I ask. If he has a girlfriend I don't have a problem meeting her & allowing her around my kids. & I never suggested in anyway that I couldn't raise my kids on my own. It's not easy & it shouldn't be that way. Also I am human so it hurts & I am going to continue to hurt until I get over things. You make it sound so easy when you say stop living and focusing on the things that doesn't matter. That is my goal & that's why I'm here on this website to help get through this tough situation. So sorry if you don't understand my pain but I am trying.

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(270)
Feb 28

@Lifehurts2018 yes, I was married to him, we had a full blown relationship before we even had kids. We lost our first child when we was 5 months pregnant, and was later blessed with the 2 kids we have. We aren't together nor have been since the last 8 years, this is why i tell you, you need to stop focusing on what he dont do for you and your child now that ya haven't been together. Father of my kids also cheated even got her intials tattooed on him after we split. He actually did it for soo long that turning the cheek was something I became accustomed to. I'm not trying to make you feel like your acting pathetic or that yea you might be overreacting, im just telling you that moving on without his help is what you need to do. At first it was hard for me he also wasn't there i remember not eating just so my kids had food, its not easy I know its not but showing them we can do this without them hurts them more. Show him you don't need him even if you do.

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(10365)
Feb 28

@Tiredofmyself so you do understand how I feel. I've shown him that I don't need him but I'm away on a work assignment & my family was helping with the kids but the main person won't be able to help me anymore so this is why I reached out to him & asked for his help. Once I am done with this I will definitely continue doing things on my own. To be honest this situation has helped & hurt me at the same time. I am so tired of being angry towards him, I'm just ready to move on. Thanks for trying to help.

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