I dont know how to control it. I am at work, I think of some

[175]

I dont know how to control it. I am at work, I think of something that I am scared of (my boyfriend cheating, my past, people not liking me, my weight), and I immediately get sad and start crying. I work in a hospital. I interact with my patients and try to keep from crying. I will go in the med room or the bathroom and ball my eyes out. I get anxious. I just feel sad all the time. I sometimes wish that I could trade places with one of my patients. I want to receive the same love and care that I give everyone else. I want to feel it. But when I do, its short lived. I feel more sad then I do happy. I find comfort when I sleep, if I can. Somestimes I just dont know what to do. Everyone says go see someone, go talk to someone. I have been thrown between counsleors back and forth for years. Its kind of traumatizing having to relive every experience over and over again just so me and my new counselor can get on the same page. Just for that person to move me to another person again. I feel like I am going through the motions. I have cut off all of my friends. I only have my boyfriend. and me being dependent on him is dangerous. For me it is. I dont know where to go from here.

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[175]
May 20

@Abandoned57 Hugs do help! thanks

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[175]
May 20

@Jaime55 I havent, but there is nothing he can do about it. He encourages me to talk to his friends. Get to know them=. I have attempted and gotten shut down every time. I have thought about reconnecting with past friends but the reason we arent friends now are still valid. I just need to find another outlet.

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Dani_Kolo's picture
[11975]
May 20

@FindingBearSpirit I get that. I really do understand that thought process. I hope you are feeling better tonight

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