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Hi, I deal with anxiety on and off. Some days I have really

Hi, I deal with anxiety on and off. Some days I have really good days with no anxiety at all and some days I feel incredibly overwhelmed with a combination of overwhelming sadness. I just play through my head all the bad things and it makes me a little crazy. I don’t deal with grief very well and I don’t get over things very easily. What’s heavy on my mind right now is how happy I am to have my sweet 18 month old son, but how guilty I feel for being happy when I don’t have my first child with me. I miscarried February 7th, 2016, due September 8th 2016. They would be a little over 3 right now. Very tmi, but when I was little I was molested for years by my older cousin. This has been 14 years ago since the last time, but he recently “accidentally” messaged me and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it for the last 3 months, everyday. I just don’t know how to move passed anything. It’s just my past is constantly creeping up on me. I can be so happy and then my thoughts ruin it. I self sabotage. I’m married, we moved across the country, I have a child, but I just can’t move on. Do any of you have advice or have gone through something similar? If you’ve read this far, thank you. I appreciate you.

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