This week's Topic: Giving yourself permission to be imperfect!!!

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Dealing with my depression on an everyday level like I'm not

Dealing with my depression on an everyday level like I'm not good enough and cant focus on everyday activities like i should be doing this or that when all i really wanna do is sleep my life away, there are times that i get soooo far into my job that I'm never home and just use it to get out of things that need to be done my son is in foster care and I'm lost without him i have been for the past year and don't know how to fix myself i damage my relationships with people and i don't have any friends i can truly talk to my girlfriend gets worried about me a lot and i do a lot of crying. I just want things to go right and make a plan but when i try to stick with it i cant find the time to focus, My girlfriends sister started a workout regime for us both so that maybe if i exercise it will release the endorphines in my brain and i can concentrate on things that need to be done but i have to focus on life too and the fact that if i keep messing up then my son wont be able to come home... I have worked the same job for 5 months and make just enough for my car payment and insurance my girlfriend pays the phone bill so that i have communication with my son and things that need to be taken care of i have completed everything that everyone has asked for yet still feel as though some stuff is not good enough and the fact that nothing i do is good enough kills me everyday... I want to fix myself but don't know how...

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[31000]
Jul 31

Hi Gagirl, Welcome to supportgroups. I have found people here to be kind and wise, and I hope you will find the same. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. It sounds so painful - depression, son in foster care, no friends, unable to focus, etc. So stressful. And feeling stuck, like you want so badly to change, but just can't seem able to.

I've had a difficult life too with lots of anxiety and depression, had lots of trouble making friends, etc. Here are my suggestions for what can help you to make your life start working better. Do you have a social worker/case manager/counselor? If not, you should be eligible for one, since your son is in foster care. Tell them everything you wrote here, and that you need a therapist and also that you need to see a doctor to prescribe you anti-depressants. If you're OK with those 2 suggestions -- some people aren't OK with them. That's what helped me. Also, tell them you need to join some support groups for depression, foster parenting, anything else you can think of. I meet with my support group on Zoom once a week, and it is invaluable. Or are you already doing these 3 things?

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