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Trigger Warning*** I can’t get these thoughts out of my h

Butterfly08's picture
[4535]

Trigger Warning***
I can’t get these thoughts out of my head. The constant “I would be better off dead, I’m worthless, I’m so stupid and such a failure” all keep coming back to me. I have already self harmed twice in the past week and I’m feeling really strongly about doing it again. The first time I bit myself, then I punched my bedroom wall, and now I want to snap and snap a rubber band on my wrist as hard as I can. I don’t know what to do

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ControlFreak101's picture
[94305]
Jun 26

@Butterfly08 your'll rebound sooner or later. I felt the same way you are at a time when everything that I was told to try didn't work out for me. But the fact that I kept trying to figure out the way of what works and what doesn't work for me. What did you enjoy doing during your childhood? Advantages, such as SG and communicating here is very helpful. If this is working for you. Why can you not do the same but for 24 hours while awake. That is what motivated me to try try try. I had images of breaking glass and committing suicide within the 1-6 months. It's not easy to find what had worked but one day, I came across a song "survive the night". I listened to it and I could relate. I worked during the night and I had voices harassing me non stop. I had to quote myself to saying, "nothing is real and everything is fine/fake." Today, after so many months, I can officially say that self harm does go away but midway point is 18 months. It's all about self discovery.

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ControlFreak101's picture
[94305]
Jun 26

I would truly hate someone depart because they felt like they had no other choice.

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Butterfly08's picture
[4535]
Jun 26

@Error101 thanks. Just getting the encouragement from you helps somewhat. During my childhood I didn’t do much. I wasn’t outgoing or did much growing up. I don’t mind doing puzzles or anything that requires my brain to think about other things. That’s what I try to do a lot of the time when I get these feelings.

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