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I need some help. My parents have noticed the scratches of s

I need some help. My parents have noticed the scratches of self harm on my wrist and want to know why I'm doing it. It's because they both come from super religious families and I'm non-religious. I haven't believed in any god(s) or afterlife for years but they don't know. I feel so guilty and ashamed and I self harm to take the pain away and punish myself. I kinda want to tell them why but I'm scared. I'm getting very upset and haven't self harmed for months and now I've been scratching until I draw blood on my wrists. Should I go ahead and tell them? And if I should, how? (my closest friends and therapist already know)

Comment
 3
Gone Fishing's picture
[73220]
Jul 11

I left a reply on your other post. It seems like your post got posted twice. But I just didn’t want you to think you were not heard.

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Littleturtle1000's picture
[1655]
Jul 11

Talk to them like you are talking to a friend as in you want to explain some things that you have been going through. Be open and excepting to them asking questions. If you don't know why you don't share all of their beliefs then tell them you don't know why but you love them and respect their beliefs it's just you don't share the same. Try to explain how bad it has made you feel and what a toll it has taken on you, then maybe go into the self harming topic you could even find some basic info on self harm and print that out or find something at the library it doesn't matter where, maybe your therapist could hook you up with that. So when you start to tell them about your self harming give them the info so they have something tangible and can see it in black and white. Ask your therapist for some tips on talking to them about you not sharing their religious beliefs because your therapist might be able to give you the words to use that makes it less personal. I think its very important for you to talk to your therapist about feeling guilty and ashamed because that has to get resolved in your head sooner than later. I believe it's extremely important for you to talk to them and get this off your shoulders and out in the open no matter what. It might be best not to go into a lot of detail about the religion as in what you believe or not believe or if you agree with some things or not. I would try to keep it very simple to the point such as ..i just don't share your beliefs on religion and I don't know why but it has caused me a lot of heartache, depression, guilt and so on. Keep it very general. I would also be prepared incase they try to go into more detail about the religion and get you all flustered and sidetracked. Ask your therapist how to shut them off about that and bring them back to what's going on with you and how it has caused you immense distress and mental and emotional turmoil. Choose very descriptive words to describe what you have been going through, make it very clear don't beat around the bush at all. Practice what you want to say by writing it out and reading it back to yourself and or a friend or the therapist. It will give you more confidence by knowing what you want to say. When you show more confidence they will take you more seriously and have more respect. Dont jump the gun make sure you have a plan, that will make things much better all the way around.

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Reply
[255]
Jul 12

Hi anonymous angel, I am so glad you reached out and want to get help. I understand why you would be scared, and I can see how you may feel trapped. It is obvious from what you have written that you care about your parents and do not want to hurt them.
From my experience of self-harming, hiding struggles will typically only make things worse for you with self-harming and for your parents watching you suffer. Would you consider talking with them today? Understand that they may be surprised, but also realize that telling them the truth with help them better understand what you are going through.

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