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I need some help. My parents have noticed the scratches of s

I need some help. My parents have noticed the scratches of self harm on my wrist and want to know why I'm doing it. It's because they both come from super religious families and I'm non-religious. I haven't believed in any god(s) or afterlife for years but they don't know. I feel so guilty and ashamed and I self harm to take the pain away and punish myself. I kinda want to tell them why but I'm scared. I'm getting very upset and haven't self harmed for months and now I've been scratching until I draw blood on my wrists. Should I go ahead and tell them? And if I should, how? (my closest friends and therapist already know)

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 3
Gone Fishing's picture
[73220]
Jul 11

Honestly I can not give you an answer. Mainly because I don’t know them. But I’ll try to give you suggestions. And you will have to choose which one you feel will help best.
If you have supportive parents. Or even one. Then sit down and talk to them. If it’s too hard. Then maybe try writing a letter. Please not in blood. We don’t want to horrify them. You don’t have to tell them everything. Sometimes a lot can come out from just a few questions. Rather than telling them. Ask them why they believe in God. Or ask them who is God to them. And that may give you the opportunity to let them know that you don’t have the same feelings.
Lots of times with grown ups. They think they know everything. And that attitude can make them feel or think that they are far superior than children. Which certainly isn’t the case. Now it’s important to inquire about God. And not question God. The difference is simply this. Inquiring is seeking information to make your own decision. Even if you already know how you feel. It’s far less threatening. And questioning is more offensive. Meaning. You already made your decision and asking only to prove them wrong.
Now if you have a bad relationship with your parents. It might be a little trickier. But not impossible. But perhaps rather than have a sit down talk. You inquire one question. Let them answer. Then leave it alone. The next week. Inquire another question. And so on.
But either route you take. Just try to use tact. You see. A person can ask any question they want. It just comes down to how they word the question.
And if you have doubts on your questions. PM me. Or post them here. You have a lot of very smart people here. And all will try to help. Including myself.

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[585]
Jul 14

So many times in life we keep silent. I kept silent about abuse for years and it only ended up making me more depressed and suicidal. So in my opinion communication is so vital. Without it problems will just fester and get bigger and the urge to hurt yourself will not lessen until you are open about why you are taking the pain out on yourself. It took me 25 years to fully understand this. But I have been depression free for over 10 years and thank God everyday for that. I am glad to read you are seeing a therapist and working through some of this that is so important. Keep the discussion going -Rachel

Reply
[36315]
Jul 14

Hello and welcome to the SG Depression group. This is a safe place where you can share your thoughts, feelings and struggles without judgement. Continue to post and you will find other members who are confronting their problems. We are here to listen, offer encouragement, comfort and support one another. I hope that you will find what you are looking for at this site. I am sorry that you are struggling with the decision of whether or not to talk to your parents. As difficult as it may be, it will probably be in your best interests (I mean healthier) to let them know how you are feeling and what you believe whether you talk with them or write a letter. I believe that the longer you delay letting them know what you believe will may cause you more self harm.

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