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trigger? everybody says i should fight not give in well i w

[405]

trigger?
everybody says i should fight not give in well i wana give into the urge but i wont becuase within a month im becoming an uncle. wish i had the courage to do, im burnt from helping family im stressing out with finals, im worried if i fail my pharmcology final i may have to repeat the class and then redo the final, i just need a lousy 20 and im not even sure i can get that, no matter what i do nothing works, then there my religious side of the family that spiritual and they feel if i embrace my spiritual side things would be better, i saw what that side did to the world so no thank you. im freaking out ive always put people first yet no one will do the same , i just want the pain to go away,
i ve had people say take drugs but the thing is the sooner i finnish school better ill be becuase i wont be living at home that were most of the triggers are. i made the mistake of going to school online , at times i feel im a failure who doesnt deserve anything, i always tell my self i would never go back to self harming the drugs the booze or even make attempts and yet there back in full force. idk anymore

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norseduncan's picture
[204570]
Sep 10

you are under a lot of pressure, a lot of stress. try to just focus on the work, the studying. put you first.

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[405]
Sep 11

EVERYTIME i focus on work , my grandma calls even when i tell her to not call unless it emerrgancy or keep what she needs in groups she doesnt listen or remeber. there a social worker coming today hoping to get my grandma an aid .
what wrong with wanting the pain to end. i guess the time for me to do anything if i were to would be before my future niece or nephew is born after that bundle of joy comes idk how i can leave this world

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