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Nothing is making sence anymore. My head is so messed up. I

zellla's picture
[1120]

Nothing is making sence anymore. My head is so messed up. I cant think straight. Nothing is focusing in my head. All i can think about is overdosing. All i can think about is hanging myself. All i can think about is suicide. Im a week clean and i was forced to throw away my blade and if i had it now then i wouldnt be feeling like this. I would have a couple of cuts but i would be alive but right now i dont know what to think about anything. Nothing is making sence and i dont know what im doing anymore

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[430]
Mar 13

@zellla Ah, I completely understand that! You might want to consider keeping a journal (if you don't already) and write down how your feelings and thoughts. Then you may want to see a therapist where you take your journal explaining that you are much better at this point writing your feelings down and going from there. Ask them for tips, guidance and support that allows you to start being able to at least verbalize your feelings in their safe environment. I feel like it's their job to be able to coach you in appropriate ways to express yourself so that you don't turn to other forms of expression that bring you harm.

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zellla's picture
[1120]
Mar 14

@backtonormal i can write stuff down but i cant show it to people. I can say stuff to people on here cos i dont know them but in real life i cant say anything to people my mind just shuts off and stops me from talking

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[430]
Mar 14

I'm so sorry that happens to you. We are definitely here to help but I think we can only help so much. At some point for you to get true healing I think you're going to have to find a way to open up to someone in person. I'm an extremely shy, introverted person and it is extremely difficult for me to talk to people but over the years and out of necessity it has gotten better. I always think of it like anything else, the more I "practice" the better I get. The more I put myself out there the easier it gets. Although it is still far from easy. LOL! I do understand though and I find I'm much more able to open up to someone I hardly know than someone I know closely. I'm always afraid they'll judge me. I'm still hoping you'll find a counselor or someone you can talk with and don't forget about the Hotlines for those really hard times. They are on the phone and not in person so hopefully that'll make it easier for you to talk to them. In the meantime, we're here for you.

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