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I literally just need people to tell me whether or not I was

_DepressedRose_'s picture
[445]

I literally just need people to tell me whether or not I was raped. I have been questing myself since September/October when this happened and need either a yes or a no please. So here’s the story. I was with someone in October, I'm a female and this was a male I was with. I'm gay but I was just lost during this part of my life and the guy I was with kept asking if we could have sex and stuff. I always said no because I wanted my first time to be with a girl. We did stuff, him and I but never actually had sex. But one night, it was dark in his room and I always no prior to this night to actually having sex. So he told me to get on my hands and knees and I expected oral or something of the usual. So I felt something but I thought it was just not penetration. I didn't know until after because I wasn't facing him when I asked him if we f*ed and he said yes. I told him I didn't feel anything and he said he used a numbing condom...I acted like I wasn't sad but I never said to him I wanted to do that.

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[120530]
May 22

@_DepressedRose_
Yes there are technicalities. Would be nice if people respected boundaries. As others here said, a doctor can check your body. I would think you would know if you were totally violated, unless that person has an anatomical inablility.

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_DepressedRose_'s picture
[445]
May 22

@bebobaBetty Well, I stayed with that person throughout the relationship until it ended because like I said earlier, I was lost and just numb after that night. I continued to fake being happy even to this day. I told my best friend (well former best friend before he also sexually used me) what happened and he literally told me, " Why would you even bring that up? It's been months". After that day, I never told anyone that, that I know in real life solely because since that former best friend clearly thought that I'm stupid, I assumed everyone else thinks the same which I still do believe everyone thinks that. Thus, that's why I never talk about it to anyone I know. At this point with the doctor for that allegation, I believe that there is no point. I know by the way that I was totally violated, but like I said, I would look stupid. Anyone would say oh well why would you even stay with him if that's what happened? You just want attention. I minimized my hours of being at school senior year of high school that person that violated me and his girlfriend called me a s.l.u.t to everyone I know because of that. I'm 19 now and just graduated.

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[120530]
May 22

@_DepressedRose_
You have every right to work through this situation. Your feelings shouldnt be dissed. But it may be best to do it with a counselor or if you prefer, by reading books. It will be personal for you. It will be beneficial to you work through it. Congrats on graduating! The world is open to you. You get to do a fresh start. Hope i make some sense. Im brain dead today. Hugs to you

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