I feel alone. I'm 29 weeks pregnant. I work a few hours a we

I feel alone. I'm 29 weeks pregnant. I work a few hours a week out of the home. I'm isolated from friends and family, as are most people right now. I can't sleep well. I ache all over. There are times suicide seems like the best option. I feel bad for the baby inside me because I don't feel emotionally able to be a present and loving parent. I'm on an antidepressant and the dose can't be raised any higher; I'm at the max therapeutic dose as is. I have a husband but he works 9 hours a day and then comes home and works on getting the house ready for the baby. I can't talk about how bad I feel with him. My best friend from HS is pregnant too, but she seems to he happy and excited. I feel like a whiny downer or attention seeker when I tell her how I honestly feel. On top of all this, I'm in recovery and I don't seem to fit in with anyone else in that community. I didn't go to treatment, I gradually quit on my own. I'm not religious and so many in recovery are. I'm completely unmotivated to do anything. I could sit around in my pajamas all day with stinking breath and dirty hair. I hate leaving the house to grocery shop, so I sit around hungry all day. This is turning into a long rant but I feel like I'm at my wits end. I'm not even sure I want to bring another human on to this planet. It's too late for an abortion and since I've gone through the pain of carrying the child, I guess I'll have it. What an attitude to have.

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andine's picture
Apr 10

Sorry to hear that. Keep searching for available support. Hopefully you will find something local.

CKBlossom's picture
Apr 12
Apr 12

Check with your husbands work or even yours if they offer an EAP. They will allow 3-5 free counseling sessions for spouses or other family members. I remember feeling how you feel when I had my daughter. That was 10 years ago. I still struggle, but you may see that bringing another life into the world will make yours worth living. If not for you then for your baby. I call my daughter my lifesaver. Without having her, idk where I would have ended up. I would also recommend opening up to your husband. You are a team and maybe he is having some feelings too. You could both support eachother.


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