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I DON'T KNOW HOW TO NUMB MY PAIN. I WANT TO SELF HARM SO BAD

jadesanz's picture
[6705]

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO NUMB MY PAIN. I WANT TO SELF HARM SO BAD. IM AN EMOTIONAL WRECK!!!! I FEEL SO ALONE I WISH I COULD JUST STOP FEELING THIS WAY. I HATE HIM SO MUCH I GAVE HIM 7 YEARS OF MY LIFE. I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO HIM. IGAVE HIM MY HEART AND SOUL.. ALL WHILE HE CHEATED BEHIND MY BACK AND TREATED ME LIKE I WASNT SH**.. SO MANY YEARS OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE UNTIL IT FINALLY GOT PHYSICAL..GOD PLEASE GIVE ME THE STRENGTH BECAUSE I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!

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[5405]
Aug 10

Hey. First I’m so sorry for everything you went/ are going through. I’m here and would love to talk if you want. I was emotionally abused for a very long time and I’m still healing. If I can be of any help please message me

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[65]
Aug 10

Ive heard that on average it takes a month for every year you are with someone in order to heal. Give yourself at least 6 months. Imagine you have a cast on your heart... like a broken leg only a broken heart. Keep that cast on there while your heart is healing. Maybe do things for yourself while it is healing... manicures or other treats... take care of yourself. Wait 6 months. Just 6 months. That may seem like a long time but it will go fast if you try to do something good for yourself every day. I'm sorry you are going through this. he sounds like a complete **** and you are probably better off in the long run but I know that it may not help to hear it just yet. Take a lot of deep breaths. It will get better... really.

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privateone's picture
[3930]
Aug 10

If you take the time to heal and take care of yourself you will find that after a while the pain will become much more bearable. Focus on your healing, give yourself treats like @susieqh suggested and wait. I'm totally free from what I used to feel about my ex narc, I don't crave him anymore, so I can assure it is possible to survive all that.I felt really lonely and I was so sure life was over for me... but I'm still alive and free from the bast***.

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